Post # 1
I keep telling Future Mother-In-Law to wear whatever makes her feel comfortable and beautiful, but she keeps texting me photos asking me for input. She is very self-conscious and has poor body image so I feel awkward offering input. I just want her to wear whatever makes her happy, but she keeps saying that she finds me very fashionable and wants my honest opinion. I think the blouse/skirt outfit reads a little casual and dark for a summer wedding, and think that blue dress is OK but not the most flattering, but she’s not generally someone who enjoys shopping or trying on new outfits. I’m torn about what to say/do.
Here are two outfits she’s considering:
Thoughts? Do you have photos of what your mothers or MIL’s wore to your wedding?
Post # 2
Do you live in the same city? Will you see each other before the wedding? Maybe offer to go to a few stores with her to try on dresses. She obviously wants your input. 🙂
Post # 3
I like the dress more than the blouse/ skirt combo. But I agree that if you are in town you should go shopping together. That would be a great bonding activity. 😊 My Future Mother-In-Law sends me pics too (she is out of town) and we actually have a group text with us and my mom. They are trying to coordinate.
Post # 4
I love the second outfit on her!
Below are what my mothers wore. Dark purple is my mom, loved her dress! The one in the red is my Mother-In-Law, and I could have stabbed her for wearing a dress the same color as my bridesmaids! Oh it still makes my blood boil looking at this picture. In the lavender is my dad’s ex wife (ex step mom) who helped raise me since I was too, even after their divorce.
Hope that helps!
Post # 5
I love your mom’s dress, it’s beautiful on her! Your stepmother’s dress is lovely too. Ugh to your Mother-In-Law wearing the bridesmaids’ dress color.
I live about an hour away from her, but we typically see each other at least once a month. I’d be happy to offer a shopping trip if she’s open to it. 🙂
Very nice! My mom doesn’t care about her outfit nearly as much and is actually planning to wear one of my old J Crew dresses (lol). But I could try to start a group chat to coordinate.
Post # 6
Post # 7
I understand being annoyed by the Mother-In-Law, trust me. But I think it is sweet that she wants your input. She clearly wants to please you. I also actually like the blue dress – how about if you find her a cool statement necklace to wear with? Nothing fancy, even some costume stuff from Target. I bet she would be so pleased and you’d score major points.
Post # 8
You could offer an alternative: a summery, stylish and comfortable wrap dress. Its silhouette is basically universally flattering; the sandals work really well with the dress and their wedge heels are very manageable.
Post # 9
Awww I think it is really sweet that your Future Mother-In-Law wants your input.
I agree with PP that the blue dress is pretty and could definitely be jazzed up! Go shopping together for a statement necklace or earrings to jazz it up.
Post # 10
I like the blue dress better too, and agree it could be made to look very special with the right jewellery and shoes ( and hat if you are in the UK) .Do help her choose , she clearly wants you to.
And, might I just suggest, beware of lines like “whatever makes you feel comfortable and beautiful /happy” because even though you mean them to be helpful and comforting , they are not either of those things to a person with body issues who will likely NOT feel beautiful . Also, you don’t really mean ‘whatever makes you feel comfortable’ judging by your comments (with which I completely agree btw) on the first outfit.
She needs you to make her feel good and you can do that better by actually helping her choose I think , not running the risk of her thinking you might not think her clothes and appearance worth bothering with – which is obviously not the case.
Post # 11
My Future Mother-In-Law is having mroe trouble finding a dress for our wedding than I did XD She found a dress she loved but her daughter told her she couldn’t wear black and white to a wedding. I disagreed and told her she absolutely can so I really hope she goes back for the black and white dress she loved.
My mother wore a white jacket and black skirt combo to my brothers wedding, she looked nice but was later disappointed that she didn’t look glamerous enough. Brother said she was the prettiest girl in the room (he’s such a sweetie!)
I agree that if you can go shopping together it would be a really nice thing to do for both her and yourself 🙂
Post # 12
I love that dress for her. She has a waist that is getting lost in her other choices, this could help define it.
OP, I agree with elderbee :
, I think you should help your Future Mother-In-Law find something stylish that will help her feel great, it will be such a huge bonus for your relationship. She isn’t dressing to flatter her figure, which is normal for women after they get to a certain point in life when they’re less focused on themselves and fashion, so I’m betting she would love to see herself looking stylish.
I would suggest you take her shopping, try some wrap dresses and cute shoes that are comfy but don’t shorten her legs. If she can’t buy something new, a statement necklace and help with shoes would be thoughtful.
Post # 13
I agree that it’s very sweet of her to get your opinion. Perhaps you two could have a nice day out and go shopping, and then end it with mani/pedis or lunch or something so the whole focus isn’t on shopping, since she doesn’t really like doing it. I’d pick somewhere with a big selection of dresses so you aren’t bouncing from store to store, if you can!
My mother wore a floor length, form fitting trumpet gown, but we had a very formal wedding and my mother is quite slim. My Mother-In-Law wore a more A-line dress. Both dresses were black, and both of them felt comfortable in the dress they selected.
Post # 14
was going to suggest this! I took my mom shopping, and would love to do the same with Future Mother-In-Law (I doubt this will happen. I don’t think she likes me very much). I honestly think it’s super sweet she is asking you. This sounds like an opportunity for a bonding experience!
Post # 15
Thanks so much for being honest. I didn’t realize that I was being insensitive and rude by saying those things, I was trying to be reassuring.
I like the pics you posted! I always make sure to define my waist with my outfits, so I think that’s throwing me off…I’m not sure how to dress in a flattering way when someone wants to hide her figure. I’ll see if she’s willing to try a wrap dress, since I agree they’re pretty universally flattering.
I’ll ask her if she’s open to going on a shopping trip, I agree that it could be a bonding experience. It would be nice for her to feel pampered.