(Closed) FMIL attacks, FI stands up to her! Long rant, feels good to say it all.

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
812 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

Didn’t it turn you on that he showed so much backbone and didn’t placate Future Mother-In-Law just for the sake of giving in?

Post # 4
Member
339 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Good for your Fiance for standing up for himself.

Post # 6
Member
4194 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

Well done, FI!. When FFIL/FMIL offered to pay, they didn’t say “we don’t want Janet there,” so they can’t come back later with restrictions like that.

There are too many stories on WB of FI’s not standing up- nice to see! I bet you’re right- it won’t be the last, but great to see that you’re coming together as Team Broccoli! 🙂

Post # 7
Member
1030 posts
Bumble bee

oh well done him! i love it when men stand up to their riduclous mothers. who do the FMIL’s think they are!!

Post # 8
Member
962 posts
Busy bee

This one is difficult. Future Mother-In-Law really acted out of hand, but are you sure that you know the whole story with this Janet girl? She may have done something to REALLY hurt Future Father-In-Law and, while Future Mother-In-Law is out of line with how she is acting, Future Mother-In-Law may just really be trying to stand up for Future Father-In-Law. I’m not dismissing your post or your feelings. I really feel for you and I know how much stress this must cause. However, I am from a family where certain people are estranged and I can tell you that those people caused a world of hurt (stealing, abuse, disloyalty etc) and that that is why they are estranged from my family. In fact, I have a half brother I haven’t spoken to in years and I only recently realized why my family sort of disowned him. My point is that it sounds like there may be more to this story than either you or even your Fiance know. Then again, I could be totally wrong. Either way, I’m sending hugs. I’m so sorry you are going through all of this drama!

Post # 9
Member
2299 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Good for your Fi!

Post # 10
Member
471 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@Paigey:  Agreed that would excite me too lol 🙂

Post # 12
Member
962 posts
Busy bee

@MrsBroccoli:  wow. nevermind then. Future Mother-In-Law is just straight up cray cray crazy. sorry you are having to deal with this

Post # 14
Member
43 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Fiance here.  I wrote about this situation five months ago, visible here:

Major drama regarding the rehearsal dinner.

The issues with my mother go a very, very long way back.  I was bullied by her ever since I was a young child.  When I was about five, my dad tired of being the disciplinarian and had my mom take over.  She was far less experienced and so applied a much different hand than my dad had (who on occasion overdid it but had raised two children who became successful adults by this point).

I grew up absolutely terrified of my mother.  There was some light physical abuse but much stronger physical intimidation.  I often would wake up trying to think about how I could get through the day without pissing her off.  As I grew older and physical intimidation stopped working, she moved to more emotional threats. After moving home for 2 months when I was unemployed post-graduate school, I eventually did get a job but was very frustrated living with her.  After expressing my desire to not visit for a little while, I was threatened with being disowned by her. I expect to hear that threat again very soon.

When I don’t just roll over for her, she tends to bring up these issues again and again.  There is nothing new for her to say to me about this issue.  I was tempted to simply tell her via email that the issue was closed and refuse to talk about it at all.  I still may when next we have a discussion with her, because there’s nothing more to discuss–I did something, she didn’t like it, and the outcome she wanted to avoid will still be avoided.

I see a therapist and the hyper-critical, adversarial relationship I’ve had with my mother over the years is a major topic in our discussions.

Post # 16
Member
2416 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I’ve had this fight with my mother about inviting family members – IMO, you can’t disclude one person or family due to family issues. I stood up to my mother and told her she had to deal with my inclusion of ALL family members. I won the battle. In the end, my mother saw it my way. I think sticking up for yourself is the best way to let someone know they can’t influence your desires….if you let them do it once, they may try to do it again…

The topic ‘FMIL attacks, FI stands up to her! Long rant, feels good to say it all.’ is closed to new replies.

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