- 6 years ago
- Wedding: July 2012
Ok so just a heads up, this is a little of a vent about my long history with my unstable Future Mother-In-Law…
Ok so a lil background. My fiance and I have been dating for over 6 years (since his senior/ my junior year of high school) and have been friends even longer. He was my first real Boyfriend or Best Friend and vice versa. His mother adored me when very first started dating bc i have nice parents, good grades, and wasn’t a lil hoe lol. our mothers became friends and she even joked with my mom that they might be family someday… then that all changed when he gave me a small diamond promise ring.
he was 18 and I was 17 and she FREAKED out.. so much in fact, she took the ring off my finger and RETURNED it to the jeweler…my fiance was not only humiliated but shocked bc he had never seen her so jealous or crazy before. Not to mention all this happened right before we were to leave with my parents for a beach vaca. the night before we were to leave she called my parents and said she’d no longer allow him to go (she had said that if he didnt make a fuss about the ring she’d still let him go on vacation, but we were “too young” to be so “serious”). Fact of the matter was we made each otehr happy and it’s not like we were out having sex or anything like a lot of typical kids our age.
So basically after this the next year or 2 she IGNORES me completely. my fiance left for college but i’d still see her around town. i’d wave and she would completely turn in the other direction after giving me a dirty look. With him being at school most of the time we never were really around her for a lot of the time and if we were at their house she’d say hi and walk off.
Well then by the third year of dating she tells him she is ready to start accepting me. she says she wants to make peace and invites me on their upcoming bahama vacation. So my parents said tehy’d loan me some money and I could go…A couple months before the trip I ask my fiance if i need to go get my passport and he tells me he has bad news…he said that his mom told him that she booked the flight and hotel without me and that she only “pretended” to invite me bc she knew he wouldnt ask off of work to go if i wasnt going…so basically he was stuck going and now flights were booked up and I was screwed. He was Furious.
Well fast forward 2 more years and yes we would see her for holidays and she would say hi but very lil contact other than that, when one day she tells him that she wants to take me out for lunch and pedicures…i really don’t want to go but he said he thinks she’s sincerely trying to begin to have a relationship with me. so i meet her for lunch and she all of a sudden starts acting like we are BFFs and asks about my family, graduating from college etc. Super awkward…but then she throws in “So David says he’s getting ready to propose, how do u feel about this?” I wanted to die…this woman has been so hurtful all these years and once again she’s ruined what should have been a surprise and special moment for us…I basically just ignored the comment but when i finally got home, he came over and i told him everything. Once again furious.
Well flash forward 6 months to December 2010 and he does finally propose, but after he does he specifically tells me that his mom did not know about it and she has never seen the ring…so when we announce it at christmas brunch she once again goes into BFF mode and then tells me she helped pick out the ring! (Funny thing is, I actually picked it out like a year before lol so it was obviously a lie).
So now that we are engaged i’m getting texts from her daily saying how her son couldnt have picked a more sophisticated young woman and how shes so happy i’ll finally be family and how she wants to go dress shopping with me and go to bridal shows. Let’s be clear, I have NEVER been anything but polite to this woman after all the hurt she has caused, but just because i’ve never been rude back does not mean that I all of a sudden can just forget her meaness either…Being a nice person, i do agree to let her come with my mom, me and my bridesmaid to a bridal show to register for stuff and meet potential vendors.
When we get there she said she made me labels with our names and wedding date etc so we didnt have to fill out so many diff sheets, you just peel n stick on the entry forms. I truly thought she was trying to be thoughtful and nice. It wasn’t until my Bridesmaid or Best Man pulls me aside, we actually looked at the labels. yes, it had OUR names but address/email/ and phone numbers were all HER contact info…Fiance is once again furious and confronts her about it and SHE gets angry when he told her she can’t plan our wedding…so mad in fact she sends all our personal info/ wedding date in a mass email to all her friends saying we need help picking out a church and are behind in planning. (we already had a church but you can only book it up to one year in advance, so we were simply waiting for when we could book it since we were still more than a YEAR away from the wedding date)
Anywho over the last few months shes made comments about getting ready with me, wanting to go to dress fittings etc and needless to say i’ve respectfully declined…It’s not that i’m a bitch but I just DO NOT TRUST HER.
Well our church and reception hall are literally across the street from eachother (both historical buildings and gorgeous) but we found it was not necessary to rent a limo since it is across the street…well now his mom has informed us she is renting a limo for HERSELF…honestly i think it is just stupid and the woman gripes about $ like no other. the only thing she is helping with is splitting the cost of the rehearsal dinner with his dad ( which we absolutely appreciate) but its not like weve ever asked her to pay for anything wedding day related.
I guess the whole point of this entirely ridiculously long rant is, how much is too much to put up with? Should I stand up fpr myself or keep ignoring her inappropriate behavior? I’ve always been taught to be a bigger person and treat everyone with respect but i’m getting really sick of being walked all over, especially when she’s trying to “upstage” us at our own wedding…Any advice??? My fiance has talked with her numerous times but she doesn’t seem to take him seriously (he’s always way too nice about things bc she is so emotionally unstable) but she also has some unhealthy attachment to him that goes back to the divorce with his dad etc, it is honestly a lil creepy…basically, think the movie MONSTER-IN-LAW!!!
**Just FYI this woman has been married 3 x, divorced twice (possibly headed on 3) and extremly bipolar…**