(Closed) FMIL bought wrong glasses for toasting….what should we do?

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
290 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

That’s tough. I think I would probably thank her but send her a photo of a nice flute that you like and say that was more the style of what you had in mind (without getting into the red wine glass/champagne flute distinction), and ask her if what she bought could be exchanged or returned. If not, I would tell her that you’d be happy to use them in your home after the wedding, and then buy your own if she doesn’t want to spend additional money on another set of glasses. I agree with you that if you don’t use them she might be offended or wonder what happen to them, so you probably need to give her some kind of explanation.

Post # 4
Member
1490 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

Sarahnyc23, I think that’s a great idea. Make it a stylistic “fit with the theme of the wedding” conversation and see how she takes it. Most people expect brides to be a little fussy with the decor. It could be a good angle. 

Post # 5
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Tell her they’re gorgeous….red wine goblets….but that you really want/need champagne flutes! I’m sure it was an accident and she’d be mortified if she got you the wrong ones. Or have Fiance call and say, “hey mom…you bought us red wine glasses on accident” so that she’s not as offended?

Post # 6
Member
7174 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Can you use those as wine glasses during the reception or perhaps for communion during the ceremony (if applicable).  I’m like you and could NOT do my champagne toast using a goblet.  Thank her profusely for finding them for you, gush over them, and let her know that you plan to use them for “x” (just so she’s not thrown if she expects them during the champagne toast).  Many people toast with wine – so perhaps that’s what was on her mind.

Post # 7
Member
4466 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Maybe you could use them as the wine glasses for you and your fiance at the reception table?  And then get appropriate toasting glasses on your own?

I feel you on this.  My sister mentioned that she was looking for wine glasses for her apartment, and my mom was excited to tell her that she found some at a garage sale.  They were neon pink champagne glasses!  Some people honestly just don’t know the difference ;o)

Post # 8
Member
647 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I totally agree with sarahnyc, that sounds like a really tactful way to deal with it!

Post # 10
Member
7174 posts
Busy Beekeeper

YAY!  That’s wonderful news!!!  Hope she finds something pretty! 🙂

Post # 11
Member
7975 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Hehehe… I’m picturing everyone at the table with delicate little champange flutes, half full, and a VERY frazzled bride and groom up front guzzling champagne from big ol’ red wine goblets… the planning drove them to drinking…

Not YOU, Noelle-a-Belle, just … the image itself makes me laugh!

Post # 12
Member
2342 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I was gonna say after reading the post to tell your Fi to handle it, but I guess you did!!  It’s always easier to tell whosever mom it is in the situation to take care of it so the other person doesn’t look bad!  At least its what i do!!  I’m glad it worked out!!

Post # 13
Member
1980 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I’d just like to say that I regularly drink my champagne and mimosas from pretty much whatever I have laying around– coffee mugs, plastic tumblers, highball glasses, etc. 🙂

champagne nom nom nom

Post # 15
Member
1980 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

This is not going to go over well, but perhaps just be grateful that you have a Mother-In-Law who wants to buy you something special for your day? In the end its much more important to appear grateful and appreciative to your new family than get hung up over what type of wine glass someone else generously bought you.

You should be thanking her for her gesture, not trashing her taste all over these boards. I think your priorities might need some refocusing.

Post # 16
Member
636 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

I think at this point you have to go with the flutes she bought.  It’s annoying that they won’t be perfect, but it’s better than wine glasses!  I don’t agree with the last poster.  You were just asking for advice on how to do the right thing and not make your Future Mother-In-Law feel bad.  I wouldn’t have just let it go without trying to come up with a solution and I am sure many others feel the same way.

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