Post # 1
Member
6113 posts
Bee Keeper
My FI’s mother texted him yesterday and brought up his most recent ex (they broke up like 6 months before we met). Here’s the story (*names have been changed lol):
She texted him saying her boyfriend (*Bob) ran into his ex *Sally. She then proceeded to say that Bob said Sally has gotten prettier and thinner. Sally said she really misses us (as in her, Bob, and my FI). My Future Mother-In-Law continued with “I think she will regret not being with you (or breaking up with you, I can’t remember the exact wording) for the rest of her life”…My Fiance then proceeded to ignore that and changed the subject (he’s so perfect)
So while I have absolutely no concern over my Fiance going back to her or even thinking about her like that, it just annoys me that she would even bring Sally up for no reason. What’s the point? I guess I just think differently than some people because that just isn’t something I would bring up because, well, there isn’t a point to it. Am I the only one who would be annoyed by this?
**Edit: I’m not annoyed that she brought her up, as I have no probelms with his ex. I just don’t think the comments she made about her were needed or warranted.
Post # 3
Member
6743 posts
Bee Keeper
I wouldn’t be annoyed that she mentioned Sally, but I would be annoyed about the comment of her regretting it and that she’s prettier and thinner now. Sounds almost like she prefers Sally to you. Uhm, weird.
Post # 4
Member
5958 posts
Bee Keeper
I think she was trying to compliment her son, he’s the one that got away for Sally, and that means your fella is one special guy…don’t sweat it, even though the execution of said compliment was ham handed and generally creepy.
Post # 5
Member
883 posts
Busy bee
@IzzyBear: why be annoyed, he’s marrying YOU!!!!! And he does have a past that cannot change.
Post # 6
Member
11752 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
I’m sure she meant no harm by it, just seemed like small talk. My parents have run into my ex before and told me about it. It’s not like she told your Fiance he was an idiot for breaking up with her. There are going to be far bigger fish to fry with your Future Mother-In-Law in the coming years – I’d let it go and pick your battles.
Post # 7
Member
1487 posts
Bumble bee
@Nona99: I would be annoyed, because I’m like that, but I think you’re right, and it was meant to be a compliment.
OP, I would concentrate on the fact that your Fiance obviously didn’t want to hear about it, and know that you have nothing to worry about!
Post # 8
Member
986 posts
Busy bee
Just going to second what Nona99 said – I voted no in the poll because Mr. O’s ex is often brought up, as an example of what to avoid in a girlfriend, haha.
Post # 9
Member
5423 posts
Bee Keeper
It’s annoying but it’s whatever. During one of our breaks Fiance dated another girl. When we got back together his mom continnued to talk/shop/whatever with this girl. Future Mother-In-Law is a photog on the side and took photos of her and her baby (from another man). I could go on. Your Fiance doesn’t care, so I wouldn’t either.
Post # 10
Member
319 posts
Helper bee
I’d be annoyed that she mentioned that Sally was prettier and skinnier. So could have left that part out.
Post # 11
Member
2287 posts
Buzzing bee
It sounds to me like she misses his ex and wants him to know he still has “options.” I would be so upset.
Post # 12
Member
3770 posts
Honey bee
- Wedding: August 2013 - Brookfield Zoo
I think the fact that she said something like “she will always regret not being with you” indicates she didn’t mean anything “pro” Sally. Had she said something like “you will always regret not being with her”, that would be a different story, but I think as she texted it, it’s just kind of like an update having seen her and hey, she is missing out on my wonderful son.
Post # 13
Member
2106 posts
Buzzing bee
What a dick move on her part. Who cares how thin or fat Sally is? Your Fiance doesn’t and if his mother does, she should keep it to herself.
Post # 14
Member
613 posts
Busy bee
@Quietserenity: + 1
I would be annoyed if your FMIL was comparing his ex to you, but I don’t see that she was. She was just giving a compliment to her son–giving a confidence boost. More or less his ex lost a good thing and misses everyone.
So his mom said she lost weight and got prettier, so what? If she did, good for her..but your Fiance didn’t care….The important thing is he is with you and loves you! 🙂
Post # 15
Member
805 posts
Busy bee
This seems odd to me, but I do believe the original intent was to compliment your Fiance.
…Still, I can’t find any explainations for the prettier and thinner comment. That sounds messed up.
Post # 16
Member
868 posts
Busy bee
I would be annoyed because as far as I’m concerned the Ex should never come up (unless she was a family friend or there are mutual children). However I’d work hard to give Future Mother-In-Law the benefit of the doubt because I realize MY mother will probably says crazy things I can’t explain as well.
