(Closed) FMIL changed her mind about how much $ she’s giving us.

posted 7 years ago in Money
Post # 4
1498 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Wow, I’m really sorry.  When you are told one thing and make plans accordingly and then a different thing happens, that is just not cool.  Maybe there are a few details you can do without or a few changes you can make to the contracts to reduce prices even further.

Post # 4
3788 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I suspect you’re going to get flamed for expecting contributions, but I think the problem here is that she offered one amount and is now cutting it back. Of course you’re grateful, and it doesn’t sound like you went looking for handouts, so I don’t think any flaming is necessary. It’s unfair and leaves you hanging for the remaining 2k with only a few months notice to adjust or come up with more money. It sucks, but there’s not much you can do about it.

Post # 5
56 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

That must be so frustrating for you!!! I wonder why she would just all of a sudden change her mind? I mean its her sons big day…hmm. Perhaps you could sit down and talk with her if you do end up desparately needing the money and it wouldnt hurt to see what she says. She does want the best for her son after all.

I originally budgeted out on what Fiance and I could afford and went from there, I got some unexpected surprises along the way though when my grandfather offered to pay the alcohol bill and I already knew my sister was doing the flowers since she is a florist.

Post # 7
5110 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2011

That sucks I’m sorry!!! Thats a lot of money that you werent expecting to pay!! Maybe talk to her. Im sorry again I know how frustrating that is.

Post # 8
56 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

At the end of the day…I could cut out the decor a bit if it was a big expense. Honestly, years after the fact who is going to remember what the room looked like?? The most they will remember will be if anything went wrong and how beautiful the happy couple looks on their big day. Just a suggestion…

Post # 10
2600 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I am so sorry.  I know EXACTLY how you feel.  My mom asked us if she gave us XXX amount of money if we would have a ‘big’ wedding at the hotel I work at.

Ok, sure! 

I planned an entire wedding, including vendors and bar for well under that amount.  My mom invited a lot of her distant family and friends I never would have…

Then kept changing what she’d pay for.

So now… her contribution barely covers dinner and food at cocktail hour.  We are covering beer during cocktail hour only, because we can’t do anything else.  We’re paying for our photogrpahers, DJ and flowers. 

It sucks.  Fiance had to close out an old savings account and I had to negotiate my ass off at our venue/my job to make it work.  We cut out a lot of things I had planned on doing – bar, hanging lanterns, additinoal decor, honeymoon stuff, bigger bridal party gifts and more little things.

It’s not been pleasant, and I hope something works out for you!!!  We were lucky that we had a lot of No RSVPs that made it doable, plus a lot of Yeses that were kids and their dinner is much less expensive.

Good luck!


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