(Closed) FMIL checks our registry multiple times a day and gets upset when we change it

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Bee
1466 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Father's Vineyard Church/ A Touch of Class Banquet Center

It sounds like she is just too involved and has to have an opinion. I’m assuming she isn’t really helping with any decisions, so she must have an urge to comment on yours instead. I would just ignore her. In the end, it’s your wedding and no one is going to remember that you were once going to use that photographer or that your colors were once going to be peach. 🙂

Post # 4
Member
505 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

man, she would be really upset with me.  I changed my colors every other day for the first 3 months of our engagement.  

I also change my mind about everything.  It drives my Fiance crazy.  lol

Post # 5
Member
1026 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Maybe she has a particular gift picked out for you/purchased something from somewhere other then the registry and is worried you wont like it or want it since you changed it?  

I know what you mean about changing your mind- I try not to go on mine because I would completely redo it every other day if I was stalking it lol.  I’m always on the lookout for the best deal and it kills me not to go in and constantly change it up. 

Post # 6
Member
3692 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

Why is she getting mad at you for sticking her nose where it doesn’t belong?  And why does your fiance tell you about it, as though it’s your problem?

Post # 8
Member
1431 posts
Bumble bee

It seems like a control thing. She probably feels important when she is involved and helping with things and feels like she has a lot to do with the wedding and when you change things without her knowing it’s a big reality check that it is ultimately your wedding and the decisions come down to what you want. Either that or she is just really bored and needs a new hobby:)

Post # 9
Member
2917 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 1996

@jackndiane:  Do you think she might be worried that you’re flaky and will end up changing your mind about the wedding/marriage? If you thought that could be a possibility, you could try reassuring her by saying something like, “I don’t think I’ve changed my mind very much, but I guess I figure as long as my mind is made up about the important stuff like how much I love Fiance and want to be with him forever, changing my mind about the wedding colors or the registry isn’t a big deal. No one’s going to remember any of that stuff in two years anyway, even me!” or whatever.

Post # 10
Member
8395 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

Future Mother-In-Law just said to me yesterday “I bet I’ve checked your registries more times than you have!” So weird…why do they care!

Post # 13
Member
5763 posts
Bee Keeper

I’m just an Aunt, but I checked my future neice’s registries reguarly too. Some was just curiosity to see how many and if any things were purchased yet, or trying to decide what I wanted to get myself. They kept changing things too, and it was pretty frustrating, as I’d decided on buying some things and was scouring the internet to find other things to go with them (off registry). We only use the registries as a guide, so many gifts are bought as unexpected surprises for them.

As an example…one neice wanted a set of margarita glasses, so we got all the accessories to go with them, including a frozen margarita machine, flavored/colored salt for the rims, some serving dishes for snacks,etc. She then decided to drop the margarita glasses and wanted martini glasses instead. Ugh. We shop often and early, so it is annoying when you have to start all over again.

Why ARE you changing it so often?

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