(Closed) FMIL compared Groom’s attire to attending a FUNERAL!!!

posted 8 years ago in Family
Post # 3
1897 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

Eh,  our groomsmen are in a black suit with black vest and tie….I love the look.  I would blow off the commets if I were you.  She sounds like she enjoys being difficult.  Yikes!

Post # 4
63 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I just went through the same thing with my Future Mother-In-Law where she ripped apart all of our ideas πŸ™ It really sucks. But all the other bees reminded me of something important, its OUR day not everyone elses so who cares if they don’t like it. What’s important is that you do! Guests arent going to remember years from now what colour tie they were wearing so it only matters that you like it. It sounds really modern and cool to me, definitely not funeralish! Wedding styles back when our parents got married are pretty different than they are now so they might not understand or like all of your choices but that’s perfectly fine, because I’m pretty sure I wouldnt’ve liked what they had picked then either lol.

If she says something about the ties again just tell her she’s lucky because she doesn’t have to wear one lol. Then tell her how happy you are with all of your decisions. It takes a really really rude person to argue with someone when they said they are happy with their decision lol. Or do what I’m doing and avoid discussion wedding plans with the Future Mother-In-Law as much as possible. Some people just don’t understand manners and can’t be taught to either unfortunately.

Stick to what you want though no matter what, it’s your dream wedding not hers πŸ™‚ Good luck!

Post # 5
1154 posts
Bumble bee

It is a thing in some sub cultures.  My family just attended a wedding where the colors were black and red and everyone commented on how weird it was that black was one of the colors since black is not for weddings (the silent implication being that it’s for funerals).  But you know what?  Everyone liked the wedding.  So there.  πŸ™‚  If you know that’s what you want stick to it and anyone decent will love the wedding.  They don’t have to agree with your every choice.  Though they damn well should be polite about it.

Post # 6
593 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I think a black suit with a black skinny tie is a really nice, modern look, especially for the evening. Try not to let the funeral comment stay with you. I recently went through something similar…we decided that my Fiance will wear a grey 3 piece suit and his groomsmen will just wear the vest and pants only since the jacket was the most expensive piece by far and we weren’t comfortable asking the guys to shell out all that cash. My mother, who has been so calm throughout all of our plans so far, flipped out. “YOU’RE NOT A BUNCH OF FARMERS!”

What? Since when do you hate farmers Mom? And hell, we’re getting married at a BARN. Anyway, she since calmed down and doesn’t even know why she freaked out so much. Hopefully your Future Mother-In-Law will do the same.  Good Luck!

Post # 7
5670 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

Sorry you are going through this. You situtation sounds exactly like my in laws. So instead I just decided not to share. I know it’s hard because you get excited about the wedding and all your ideas that you just want to sure but you’ll realize that you can’t change people. So do what you want and if you want people to support your ideas just be careful who you share them with.

Post # 8
4567 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

We haven’t picked out what the boys are wearing, but when Mr. KM told Future Mother-In-Law that I was considering black suits for everyone, she said the same thing. I can kind of see her point, so we switched to grey to keep the peace and because I didn’t really that care that much. It’s a popular look, though, and there’s not really any reason to get bent out of shape about it.

Post # 9
1079 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

(1) I tend to agree it sounds like a funeral look, and (2) what’s wrong with a grey tie to keep some peace? Sure, some of the customary things that Future Mother-In-Law grew up with aren’t so important any more, but some things my mom taught me are right on – like how long dresses (or veils) and horizontal lines make short girls look shorter. That said, a shorter veil will make you look taller.

I agree it’s your wedding and you should have things the way you want them, but you also want to look good, not to mention not damaging your relationship with your family because of a silly little thing!

Post # 10
769 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

The guys are doing black suits for us too.  It’s practical.  Modern.  Easy.  If you love it, maybe you can show her pictures of others weddings where the guys wore black suits?  I’ve found that our parents just haven’t been to many weddings in years, and they don’t understand that some things are completely normal and accepted now – even if they weren’t back in the day.  Once you show her examples of cute weddings where the men wore black, maybe she’ll come around.  I think parents sometimes just are worried that you are doing something totally crazy that other people will judge.  There have been many times wedding planning that the phrase – how many weddings have you been to in the last 5 years? – has been brought up w/ respect to parents πŸ™‚

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