(Closed) FMIL – Dating FH 3 years, now engaged – still haven’t met her

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

I haven’t, but I think until you actually know how she is, killing her with kindness is the way to go for now. I normally dont say that, but if you don’t give her a reason to dislike you and she does for her own reasons, then tough cookies for her (and hopefully others will see the effort you put in, and the lack there of for her)

Post # 4
981 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I doubt she is going to make a spectacle in front of the whole family. In fact, I would bet she will act super nice in front of an audience and pretend everything is peachy keen.

Post # 5
302 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I’m sure she will be nice to your face and maybe talk badly about you to her son later.

I think you just need to be very nice and kind and if you have a moment alone with her, tell her how much you love her son and what a great marriage you will have.

Post # 6
1627 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I’m going to hope for you and your FI’s sake that maybe she has finally come around and realized that you are here to stay.  Either she can live with it and be a part of your happy lives, or possibly lose contact with her son as times goes on.

Who knows, maybe it took the engagement for her to see how much you care about each other and that you are both committed to one another.  Not saying she is right in her previous actions, but people do make mistakes and hopefully now she’ll want to make up for her ridiculous behavior.

Good luck, hun!  I would be shaking in my boots with nervousness too if I were you.  But think positive and kill ‘er with kindness!! 🙂

Post # 7
1571 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I second the killing her with kindness suggestion. Hopefully it will not be as easy for her to be so dismissive of someone that she has met, and is kind to her. People are so weird.

Post # 9
204 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I get the feeling that perhaps what your Future Father-In-Law means by setting something up is that a family event will be planned, but she won’t know you’re coming til you’re there. 😉 Pretty sure that this is the only reason I met my Future Mother-In-Law within the first few months of FH and I dating. I’m willing to bet she will either A) mostly ignore you or B) just be sweet as pie to your face… with a good chance of talking smack later.

If she does decide to be overbearing or nasty at any point…
A) Kill her with kindness.
B) Keep that spine straight, and don’t let her push you around. Don’t take her crap.
C) Talk to FH before hand, and make sure that he has your back and he’s not going to go all jellyfish just because it’s his mama.

Good luck!

Post # 11
1141 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Kill her with kindness and be the bigger person sounds like a good plan. I would say just keep being kind and it should wear her down, good luck!

The topic ‘FMIL – Dating FH 3 years, now engaged – still haven’t met her’ is closed to new replies.

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