(Closed) FMIL dictating menu options

posted 8 years ago in Food
  • poll: Which seafood dish for menu?
    Scallops with gnocchi : (22 votes)
    96 %
    Trout : (1 votes)
    4 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    1940 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    I think it depends a lot on who is paying for the food.  If your future in-laws are paying, they probably have a lot more say in the matter than if they are not contributing at all.

    Post # 5
    Member
    546 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    I think she should offer her opinion and then back off.  And if the scallop dish if the one you yourself want to eat on your wedding day, then definitely go with scallops!!

    Post # 6
    Member
    1080 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2010

    if your family is paying and you want the scallops go with the scallops.

    Post # 7
    Member
    546 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    Ok if you want the scallops get them! Especially if thats the dish you would choose to eat! If my Future Mother-In-Law tried to tell me she wanted me to get rid of the dish i wanted to eat and replace it with something I didn’t even like I would serously say “oh that would be a nice option for guests, but I personally don’t like that dish and i Love what i chose so no.” The End. Stand your ground on this one.

    Post # 8
    Member
    1103 posts
    Bumble bee

    I am amazed she thinks she has any say at all. She isn’t paying for it and it’s not her wedding. Maybe you are right and she is worried about appearances, but again, it’s not her wedding so just remind her that if people don’t like the food they won’t think any less of her as a Mother-In-Law 🙂 Your other option of course is to stop discussing things with her, which is my usual course of action. Keep it on a need-to-know basis. Your menu sounds great to me!

    Post # 10
    Member
    2066 posts
    Buzzing bee

    If she isn’t paying, she has no veto power.  Thank her for her suggestions, but explain you love scallops and that is what you want to eat at your wedding. 

    By The Way – I think your menu sounds fantastic!

    Post # 11
    Member
    523 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 2009

    Absolutely your call if your side is paying.  Explain to her that you appreciate her insights (second opinions, even when unrequested, do tend to be useful), but since she’s not contributing it’s your decision, and you like the scallops.  I would be sure to say why she doesn’t get a say.

    Also, make sure the caterer knows not to accept orders or changes from the Future Mother-In-Law, only from you.

     

    Post # 12
    Member
    56 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    fyi as a guest, I would be way more excited about the scallops than the trout!

    Post # 13
    Member
    14185 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2009

    Scallops=yummy. But i know people either love or hate them. I feel the same about trout. Ew

    Why were they at the tasting if they weren’t paying? Seriously I’d leave them out of stuff like that b/c obviously she sees it as an invitation to make too many “suggestions”. The only people who really need to be at the tasting are you and your Fiance, make your choice, and don’t let people strong arm you.

    Tell her you just love the scallops too much to go with the trout. And that, well, they can eat the chicken I guess.

    Post # 14
    Member
    525 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: January 2011

    Well if she is not paying for the food, why was she even at the tasting session???

    I might be wrong but if somebody brings me at their tasting, and I am not paying for the food, then I think they are asking me for my input and involvement. 

    Post # 15
    Member
    573 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2010

    Go with what you want. I don’t think it would be percieved as a money issue since scallops are usually more expensive than trout.  That’s what happens when people are involved in the tasting though. Don’t involve them in future decision making processes if they are being difficult.

    Post # 16
    Member
    435 posts
    Helper bee

    Even though I love most fish I don’t like trout so maybe I’m biased but I think more people would want scallops than trout.  Also she’s out of line trying to dictate the menu if she isn’t paying.

    The topic ‘FMIL dictating menu options’ is closed to new replies.

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