Post # 1
HELP!!! My Future Mother-In-Law is driving me crazy with her “suggestions”. Since all of our guests are coming from Out of Town she keeps subtly saying that we need to give them a unique experience. Latest topic is the menu.
Our current dinner menu (buffet style) is:
2-Scallops with hand-made gnocchi
…and 2 sides
locally grown root veggies
We wanted a menu that was light and not necessarily the same old-same old (hince no beef choice). Also we have several vegetarians who eat seafood.
Future Mother-In-Law wanted steak filets and locally raised trout. I think I have successfully ruled out the steak and are currently battling about the trout vs scallops. I’m having such a hard time b/c I loved the scallops dish and would choose this to eat on my wedding day. All of our vegetarian guests eat both fish and shellfish, so that’s not an issue.
Future Mother-In-Law and Future Father-In-Law were at the tasting and both said they didn’t really like the scallop dish. I feel like they think were being cheap…or something by going with chicken and scallops. I personally don’t like trout or much “fish” at all, but I don’t want that to cloud my decision making.
Anyway my Fiance has asked our caterer if we can split the trout and scallop option (just have 1/2 less of each). Still waiting to hear back.
What do you guys think about the original menu? Is Future Mother-In-Law overstepping her boundaries or am I just being too sensitive about this dilemma??
Post # 3
I think it depends a lot on who is paying for the food. If your future in-laws are paying, they probably have a lot more say in the matter than if they are not contributing at all.
Post # 5
I think she should offer her opinion and then back off. And if the scallop dish if the one you yourself want to eat on your wedding day, then definitely go with scallops!!
Post # 6
if your family is paying and you want the scallops go with the scallops.
Post # 7
Ok if you want the scallops get them! Especially if thats the dish you would choose to eat! If my Future Mother-In-Law tried to tell me she wanted me to get rid of the dish i wanted to eat and replace it with something I didn’t even like I would serously say “oh that would be a nice option for guests, but I personally don’t like that dish and i Love what i chose so no.” The End. Stand your ground on this one.
Post # 8
I am amazed she thinks she has any say at all. She isn’t paying for it and it’s not her wedding. Maybe you are right and she is worried about appearances, but again, it’s not her wedding so just remind her that if people don’t like the food they won’t think any less of her as a Mother-In-Law 🙂 Your other option of course is to stop discussing things with her, which is my usual course of action. Keep it on a need-to-know basis. Your menu sounds great to me!
Post # 9
Thanks you guys for making me feel somewhat sane about this.
Mountain.bride, that’s a WONDERFUL idea about the “need-to-know” basis. Which is what I need to do from here out. She actually invited herself to the menu tasting, so I should have known from there that was going to be bad.
Post # 10
If she isn’t paying, she has no veto power. Thank her for her suggestions, but explain you love scallops and that is what you want to eat at your wedding.
By The Way – I think your menu sounds fantastic!
Post # 11
Absolutely your call if your side is paying. Explain to her that you appreciate her insights (second opinions, even when unrequested, do tend to be useful), but since she’s not contributing it’s your decision, and you like the scallops. I would be sure to say why she doesn’t get a say.
Also, make sure the caterer knows not to accept orders or changes from the Future Mother-In-Law, only from you.
Post # 12
fyi as a guest, I would be way more excited about the scallops than the trout!
Post # 13
Scallops=yummy. But i know people either love or hate them. I feel the same about trout. Ew
Why were they at the tasting if they weren’t paying? Seriously I’d leave them out of stuff like that b/c obviously she sees it as an invitation to make too many “suggestions”. The only people who really need to be at the tasting are you and your Fiance, make your choice, and don’t let people strong arm you.
Tell her you just love the scallops too much to go with the trout. And that, well, they can eat the chicken I guess.
Post # 14
Well if she is not paying for the food, why was she even at the tasting session???
I might be wrong but if somebody brings me at their tasting, and I am not paying for the food, then I think they are asking me for my input and involvement.
Post # 15
Go with what you want. I don’t think it would be percieved as a money issue since scallops are usually more expensive than trout. That’s what happens when people are involved in the tasting though. Don’t involve them in future decision making processes if they are being difficult.
Post # 16
Even though I love most fish I don’t like trout so maybe I’m biased but I think more people would want scallops than trout. Also she’s out of line trying to dictate the menu if she isn’t paying.