(Closed) FMIL Drama

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
7693 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

@shannonh32:  Maybe you (or FI) could tell her that all of your Save-The-Date Cards are done but hers?

Post # 5
Member
385 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I would either just go over there and say “FMIL, how about you grab your address book. Lets get these done” or see if there is another family member that can help you. Like an aunt or maybe FFIL?

Post # 6
Hostess
1427 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I’d just send a very nice email along the lines of “Hi Future Mother-In-Law, We’ve requested the addresses for your guests multiple times already. Unfortunately we are at the end of the timeline for the Save-The-Date Cards to go out adequetely. If we can not get the addresses by the end of this week, we will not be able to send them the STDS and the invitations. I will assume that if I don’t hear from you by Friday, you have changed your mind on inviting these people. Thank you!”

 

Post # 9
Hostess
1427 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@shannonh32:  better yet… have him send it. it’s easy for MIL’s to hate their DIL… but their darling sons can do no wrong. (trust me… I’m speaking from experience… everything was fine pre-wedding and now post wedding, things that aren’t my fault all of a sudden ARE my fault.) let him be the “bad guy” in this. and state it to her…. “your behavior leads us to think that you don’t want to invite these people. we just want to honor your wishes.” 😉

Post # 11
Member
5183 posts
Bee Keeper

just don’t invite them.. less mouthes to feed.

Post # 14
Member
2693 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2008

@shannonh32:  Okay, yet another bee that I’m convinced is also engaged to my fiance.  This is literally EXACTLY what we went through.  Though, we started asking her for addresses (there were about 9 total, most of whom are her siblings.  I mean come on) in SEPTEMBERRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.  We got them about two weeks ago.  I was completely and utterly disgusted and irritated by how freaking rude that was.  Fiance asked her over and over and over again.  He made it clear that this was NOT OKAY and that if she didn’t give us the addresses, people weren’t getting invites.  You know it just made me so mad becasue I took the time and care to work with a graphic designer to design our Save-The-Date Cards and I wanted to share them–when else in my life do I get to send out Save-The-Date Cards for my only wedding?  She just had no regard for that and it just made me not want to interact with her at all.  I don’t really talk to her.  It was so rude and I was mortified for her, because I or my mother would never do that, but apparently she didn’t feel the need to actually put forth the effort.  So ridiculous.  What is wrong with these FMILs??

Post # 16
Member
2693 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2008

@shannonh32:  She’ll have to come through eventually, or else she won’t have her preferred guests at the wedding!! my Future Mother-In-Law always said the same thing “oh, I’ll get them tonight”.  The worst part?  About 5 of them were the addresses of her sister, best friend, and niece and nephew who live in florida.  She travels to florida about a dozen times a year.  NOt to mention she talks to her sister daily.  She couldn’t have ever asked in the five months we waited??? God I just don’t understand it.  Some people have said FMILs do this because they think if they withold the info, the wedding won’t happen.  That’s so ridiculous.  As far as I’m concerned, the less people she asks you to invite, the more people you and your Fiance can invite from your “B” list (if you have one!) that you can’t invite now to make room for her people!

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