(Closed) FMIL Drama — Am I being too sensitive?

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1074 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

No, I don’t think you’re over reacting.  Something kinda like that happened with my brother.  My mom absolutely loved my brother’s ex and was sure they were going to be married.  As you can predict, they broke up and my brother married another girl.  During that whole courtship time, my mom still kept in touch with the ex gf.  I think mothers just have a harder time detaching from someone that they thought would be in their son’s life forever.  I wouldn’t worry to much about it.  Just give it some time.  She will come around with open arms I’m sure.

Post # 4
Member
2083 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Aww I am so sorry! I don’t think that you are overreacting in the slightest. I would be very hurt by something like that as well… Everyone wants their FMILs to be crazy about them and for them to feel like family. Have you gotten to know your Future Mother-In-Law much while the two of you were dating? If you guys don’t have much of a relationship yet, maybe involve her in your wedding planning – it could be a good way for the two of you to bond and it will let her know that you want her to be a part of the marriage. Of course if she continues to ignore you guys then that is a different story, but hopefully she will warm up to you soon. Keep your chin up! *hugs*

Post # 5
Member
612 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I’m sure this is a very hard time for you, but this could also be a hard time for her too.  While she may really like you she is probably morning the fact that her son and her grandaughter’s mother will never be together.  This may be a big deal to her if she is a very family orriented person.  It is not a reflection on you as a person.  I would call her and talk and not mention the engagement until she was comfortable enough to bring it up.  Maybe she just needs some time to let things sink in before she can show her full love of the situation.  Good luck and remember not everything is as it seems.

Post # 6
Member
1129 posts
Bumble bee

I share your sadness at not being 100% accepted by the FIL’s.  My Fiance Dad and Stepmom are extremely negative and borderline rude to us – their comment and reaction to our becoming engaged was “Well, whatever makes you happy”

I’m trying hard to come to the point where I can accept that I will never get what I hoped for or wanted out of that side of his family.  I have a feeling that for most of us brides who deal with these types of issue, we have a long road ahead of us with our inlaws.

I wish I could offer some sage advice other than ‘get over it’ – but I really can’t 🙁  I can jsut say that I understand and feel for you.

Post # 7
Member
624 posts
Busy bee

Wow.  The comment was uncalled for but unfortunately, no one can really dictate who she is friends with. That’s really sad she can’t just be happy for you.  Her loss- don’t let it get your excitement down.

Has there been other issues with her, or is this comment out of the blue? 

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