(Closed) FMIL Drama – Wow. LONG

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
5823 posts
Bee Keeper

My first reaction was emotional: how dare she treat you both that way!  She shouldn’t attend the wedding if she doesn’t want to!  UNINVITE HER!

But after putting down the pitchfork and tar, I guess I think you’ve handled it as best you can.  Even if you are treating them like trash, they are making the CHOICE to attend your wedding.  If they were truly so grieved, they wouldn’t be.

Also, co-dependent mothers like that need Betty Ford.  I’m not being facetious.  If she doesn’t seek help for her insanely creepy need to be close to her sons and control their lives, then she will never change.  And my recommendation to you both is to distance yourself from that.  It is mentally unhealthy to be around that.

My opinion is he should recommend his mother seek therapy, and not discuss the wedding with the family anymore.  You both know where they stand, let them fume over it.  You sholdn’t spend any more energy on their bad feelings.

Post # 4
2263 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@violetmoon: I agree with @MightySapphire: this is a toxic relationship for you and FH, I would put as much distance between you as possible. 🙁 I am so sorry you and your guy are going through this though, I simply do not understand why some families hold onto their adult children in this way. 

Post # 6
3866 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

@violetmoon: And I though MY mother was bad! I agree with the others.  Distance yourself and ignore them.

I will say, that I can sympathize with you.  My mother tries to make it so that my brother and I are dependent on her (we’re not) and gets really…. upset… and vindictive anytime she doesn’t get what she wants from us.

Latest example: We’re wanting to move into an actual HOUSE (currently in an apartment).  Because we aren’t moving closer to HER (so she can attempt to continue to dictate MY life) and because my FI’s mother offered up wallpaper for us to use, she get all mopey and whiney saying she won’t be able to visit. AT ALL.



The topic ‘FMIL Drama – Wow. LONG’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors