(Closed) FMIL Dress

posted 8 years ago in Dress
Post # 3
Member
1580 posts
Bumble bee

If no one else is wearing a long dress, she might look overdressed. What do the Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses look like?

Post # 4
Member
340 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I would keep both moms in a similar length dress. I think that your bridal dress still looks more formal, but that there is a huge difference between the two mom dresses in terms of formal-ness. I also have the same question as Jacqui – what do your bridesmaids dresses look like?

Post # 5
Member
1765 posts
Buzzing bee

If it is the first dress, that is posted in white that Future Mother-In-Law wants to wear, it is definitely more like a wedding dress, (has she seen yours) and I think because your mom is wearing the shorter dress, I would definitely tell her it is too formal compared to your wedding dress and/or ask her to wear a shorter dress to more match your moms.  She isn’t planning on wearing white/ivory to your wedding is she???  Good thing she is asking you for your opinion, and hopefully is then open to taking it.  Yikes!

Post # 7
Member
4024 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I think her dress is a little to fancy. Looks wedding dress-ish to me. I would maybe try to steer her away from it, and possibly help her find a short dress, or mid calf or something.

Post # 8
Member
13099 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

Technically, ettiquette would say that the Future Mother-In-Law should never have a more formal dress the the MOB (ie if MOB is wearing long, Future Mother-In-Law can wear either long or short but if MOB is wearing short, Future Mother-In-Law needs to wear short as well).  The MOB is basically the next most important person of the day after the bride and groom.

I think your Future Mother-In-Law needs to get a new short dress.  She shouldn’t be wearing floor length based on what others (particularly the MOB) are wearing.

Post # 9
Member
11 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2011

No, no and no…  My wedding dress is almost exactly what your Mother-In-Law is wearing.  Granted I’m in my 40’s and I’m an encore bride but the answer would be NO if I was younger. 

 

Etiquette also states the Mothers are supposed to discuss what they are wearing and agree on what is appropriate.  If you think there will be stress – kick the issue to your mom (whose dress by the way is very appropriate)

Post # 11
Member
532 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I think that you should kindly tell her that you think it is a bit too formal for the wedding. I’m sure she will understand.

Post # 12
Member
1580 posts
Bumble bee

Ok yeah, I think she needs a tea length or knee length dress. But if she is difficult, I would just give her that one criteria and let her pick whatever she wants that is knee length.

If she picks something with too much sparkle and you don’t want that, you can tell her it won’t photograph well (I don’t know if this is true of not).

Your mom’s dress will look great with yours! I love the lace.

Post # 13
Member
2641 posts
Sugar bee

I agree that FMIL’s dress is probably too formal for what you’ve planned. And based on your posts, she is trying to place formality somewhere in your wedding, (that is less formal than she’d prefer.)  Or perhaps she jsut feels more comfortable wearing something that is more formal.

I don’t know if your Future Mother-In-Law would fit in the same category as my mother, but my mom would NEVER wear a knee length dress.  She does not want to show her legs for anything.  I hear a lot of people saying if your mom is wearing knee length, so does Future Mother-In-Law.  ANd that wouldn’t fly for some people.  If your mom likes knee length and her legs, great.  But I don’t think you should force someone (in particular an older lady) to wear a style of dress she isn’t comfortable with. 

If Future Mother-In-Law is comfortable with a knee length dress, fine.  But if she isn’t, I would suggest a style that is still not quite as formal, but still a longer length.

Post # 14
Member
235 posts
Helper bee

I agree with Tanya123.  Perhaps your Mother-In-Law may have issues with wearing a short dress and prefers a long dress to cover her legs.  I think most of the MOB and MOG ettiquette of the past has long gone out the window.  As long as they don’t wear a dress that is white or looks like the bridesmaids dresses, I think they can wear whatever they are comfortable in.  If you are uncomfortable with her wearing that particular long dress I would tell her that you feel it is a bit too formal or similar to yours.  Maybe go shopping with her and help her find something that you both love. For my son’s wedding this summer, I am wearing a honey colored chiffon long dress and the bride’s mother who has great legs is wearing a short brown tafetta suit!  I doubt anyone is going to confuse either one of us for the gorgeous bride or really care what we are wearing. And as for formality, people expect the mothers to be dressed more formally than what the guests are wearing no matter if the wedding is a casual outdoor wedding or in a formal church.

Post # 15
Member
5921 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

I like your moms dress best.  Her dress is definitely more formal.  I don’t think it is more formal than yours though.  Would hers be in that color?  It sort of looks like a prom dress to me.

Post # 16
Member
13099 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

Ignoring all rules of etiquette, I still think the Future Mother-In-Law should not be in a floor length dress.  For a semi-formal wedding with outdoor reception, guests will not be wearing floor length, the BMs aren’t wearing floor length, the MOB isn’t wearing floor length – so it would just be the Future Mother-In-Law and the bride.  Your Future Mother-In-Law will be VERY overdressed in a floor length dress and will stand out as such.  For your event, your Future Mother-In-Law wearing a long dress is just as out of place as someone showing up in jeans.  Her outfit needs to match the formality of the event.

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