(Closed) FMIL dress — it’s white!

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
6572 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2010

your allowed to want to be the only one in white. it’s a pretty dress, i’d ask your fi to talk to her and ask to find something like it in another color.

Post # 4
Member
3162 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Just tell her that you are following the no white ettiquette rule. Maybe since she’s Latin American, it’s a cultural thing and she doesn’t know that it is frowned upon here.

Post # 5
Member
204 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

Yeah. I would have someone else break it to her. Would not look good in pics.

Post # 6
Member
562 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Umm…she does realize this is YOUR wedding right?  I would so not be ok if my Future Mother-In-Law wore white to my wedding.  Since your Fiance said he’d talk to her, I’d take him up on that offer.  

Post # 7
Member
6597 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

I would ask her to wear another colour!

Post # 8
Member
1220 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

Welcome to my world.  Just be honest, polite but blunt.  That’s what I had to do.

Post # 9
Member
2289 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

I think your wishes are perfectly sound and acceptable, but you know the situation the best. Honestly, when people see your Future Mother-In-Law wearing white they may not notice, or they may think that she is being very (dare I say it?) tacky. I would think that would be a concern that you and your FI could voice, along with some other suggestions of what colors would be good for her skin tone.

Post # 10
Member
532 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

She can find something in a different color. Although I don’t think it’s a nice style dress, she should do the right thing and not wear white. If you don’t think you like it now, imagine looking at her in that dress standing next to you in all your family photos.

Post # 11
Member
548 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

Have your Fiance talk to her! But he should take the “it will be frowned upon” angle, not the “missjbear will be upset” angle. He should really stick with the idea that people see it as an insult to the bride, and that she wouldn’t want to send that message.

Post # 12
Member
5273 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

Yeah I would ask her to change too & perhaps find her dresses that are similar to that style but in a different color.

Would she open to a darker “white” shade like a champagne color, or actually, I should ask are you okay with her wearing champagne?

Post # 13
Member
4024 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I think you are being resonable. I wouldn’t want my Future Mother-In-Law to wear white to  my wedding! The outfit is cute, but can’t she find it in a different color?! I would take up your FIs offer to talk to her for sure!!!

Post # 14
Member
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

Hmm.. this is a tough one. I nipped this in the bud earlier b/c FMIL’s asked me if I had a preference of what color they wear and I replied back “Anything but white! ;)”

But if FI’s Mom emailed me that pic and said that’s what she wanted to wear I don’t know for sure how I would react. If she has a good sense of humor and you two have a decent rapport, I would joke with her and say “I don’t mean to be a bridezilla, but I was hoping to be the only lady in white on  my wedding day ;)”. Since you said she gets super emotional, I would either reply back that Fiance was concerned about the dress being white OR have Fiance talk to her and say it’s a beautiful dress but his preference is to only have his bride in white. Can’t she find any other color for that particular event?

If it starts to escalate, to be honest I’d probably just drop it. I’d get her a HUGE flower pin to put on her jacket to cover up some of the white with pink and maybe buy her a nice pashmina too. Trust me, she will feel so uncomfortable with people asking her if she’s the bride or why she’s wearing white, she’ll look bad not you.

Post # 15
Member
588 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010 - Philippe Park

Uhm, yeah. I’d tell her, no white unless you’re the bride, no exeptions. You’re not being unreasonable at all. I think it’s so rude of her to even consider wearing white to someone else’s wedding.

Post # 16
Member
4466 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

That’s a pretty typical/generic suit.  She should be able to find that in a color easily.  Have your fiance explain the etiquette re: this situation to her.

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