(Closed) FMIL dress — it’s white!

posted 11 years ago in Emotional
Post # 17
Member
5495 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

Get her to wear a different color! You have every right to be uset…I know I would be!

Post # 18
Member
116 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I say just let her wear it.  It isn’t a gown or anything so she won’t hold a candle to you. If this is what she will feel comfortable in then let her go for it.  By The Way Back in the day it wasn’t uncommon to have MOB or the MOG wear white.

Post # 19
Member
137 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

I thought that dress would be perfect for my Future Mother-In-Law….if only it weren’t white. I don’t love the idea of anyone wearing all white at my wedding either. I’d recommend saying something tactfully about how a shade of pink looks with her lovely complexion, etc.

Post # 20
Member
2530 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Does it not come in any other color? Its a nice outfit, but its stark white. I wouldnt be happy.

Post # 21
Member
1565 posts
Bumble bee

I think the “guests don’t wear white rule” is pretty clear on this type of situation. It’s really considerate of you to want to stay away from unnecessary conflict, but I think most brides would not be ok with this. If you didn’t mind at all, it would be fine, but clearly it’s not something you’re happy with. Have FI talk to her – good luck! 

Post # 22
Member
5976 posts
Bee Keeper

I agree…I’d ask her to wear another color. Or since your Fiance offered to talk with her, have him just politely say that you are the only one to wear white. Make it seem like it’s his issue!

Post # 23
Member
987 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I wouldn’t be upset as it is clearly a MOG dress and doesn’t look remotely like a wedding dress.  But even if it didn’t bother you people are definitely going to comment on it and if she is sensitive it will make her uncomfortable.  I would have your Fiance talk to her about it using that rationale so you don’t have to be the bad guy.

Post # 24
Member
171 posts
Blushing bee

I’m surprised that dress is even in the “Mother of the Bride” section on the site! Come on, back us up Nordstrom!

Post # 25
Member
153 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

Tough situation.  Iw onder why she chose that.  I mean, its gorgeous, but doesn’t everyone know to not wear white to a wedding? Weird. 

 

Side note, where are you getting married?  We are having a Pgh wedding!  Heniz Chapel and PAA….I’m looking for a good baker in the area if you know of any!?

Post # 27
Member
1154 posts
Bumble bee

I would definitely phrase it as explaining the traditional connotations of the MOG wearing white and the message she will inadvertently send not you not wanting her to wear it.

Post # 28
Member
14181 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I’d have Fiance mention that only the bride is supposed to wear white and it’s considered a snub if she chooses to wear white. And, gee, gold and soft pink and light blue look so fabulous on her skin tone, why doesn’t she wear something that accentuates her, not makes her look like she’s trying to insult the bride?

Maybe if it’s put that way, she’ll reconsider. If not, well, everyone will just know she’s being a Bia about wearing white. Hey, at least it’s a suit and not a pretty frilly dress. A suit’s a suit…very matronly for the most part.

Post # 29
Member
26 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2010

I’d have him say something, I’m pretty sure it’s common sense to know that only the BRIDE wears white 🙂

Post # 30
Member
53 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

If I was at a wedding and saw the mother-in-law in a white dress, I would think that she did not not agree with the marriage.  It is not ok for her to wear white.  You should just be honest.  I mean she did send you the dress for your approval, so you don’t approve.  

Post # 31
Member
389 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

I would recommend having him say something to her – there has got to be another color she’d look great in!

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