(Closed) FMIL Dress Situation / Question

posted 6 years ago in Accessories
Post # 3
Member
107 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I’m not a stickler for etiquette, but I think it’s completely fair to ask that she not wear such a bright color. A bright canary yellow will stand out in photos, regardless of what your wedding party will be wearing.

I think it’s fair to ask that she go with a more muted tone if only for that reason.

Post # 5
Member
1361 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I am a stickler for etiquette and I don’t think you can ask her not to wear yellow.  I’m also not sure it’s worth risking your relationship with her to bug her about it.

Post # 6
Member
5494 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2011

I’m of the camp that the MOB and MOG are grown women, not part of the bridal party and should thus be able to wear whatever they want.

Your Mother-In-Law won’t be in photos with your bridal party so she won’t stand out.  She’ll be in a few family shots and that’s it.  

Post # 7
Member
2712 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Eh, I’m with Future Mother-In-Law.  She’s an adult and can wear whatever she wants and I don’t think she has to coordinate with your colors.  I also don’t she’s trying to stand out – she probably just really likes the dress.  I would only be concerned if she wanted to wear white or some version of white.

Post # 10
Member
1361 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@shannonh32:  Sorry, I didn’t mean to imply you’d ruin your relationship by asking her to switch colors!  I’ve just hear some horror stories about FMILs being kind of intense and holding grudges.  I guess whether you can ask her to wear something else really depends on your relationship with her.  I do think she might stand out in some pictures with lots of muted colors, but I think the PP is right that she’ll only be in a few of them, and I’m just not sure you can dictate what she wears 🙁

Post # 12
Member
175 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I don’t think you were wrong to mention that she might not go with the rest of the group, it is a fair concern. She can wear whatever she wants, technically she should defer to your mother but that doesn’t seem to be the issue here. I’d just leave it be, and hopefully she will come around on her own or someone in her family will convince her its not smart. I think bringing it up again may just cause trouble. 

You are going to stand out on your wedding day, I wouldn’t be worried about that! There shouldn’t be too many pictures of her with your side/your bridesmaids so again, easier to say nothing and hope it works out. 

Post # 14
Member
9550 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

I wouldn’t ask her to change it. Especially if she was already giving you a look when you mentioned that it was bright. It’s just SO not worth it. Could it stand out in some pictures? Maybe. Does that really matter? Nope. I feel like so many brides are insecure that they won’t “stand out” or be the “star” or the “focus” and it’s really unnecesary. You’re the bride. You’ll stand out. You’re the one in white. Stop worrying about it. And I’ll keep my fingers crossed that she picks a more muted tone and it’s not even an issue!

Post # 15
Member
887 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

Do you know what flowers you’re having yet? One way to subtly hint that yellow might not be the right choice is by saying “I’m having the corsages made with ___ and ___. Do you think that will look okay with your yellow dress?” You could also gush about how great your mom’s dress is (once she purchases it) and how the colors really complement the overall theme of the wedding.

As a side note, my Mother-In-Law picked up a denim jean dress from a second hand shop for our wedding after I asked her not to wear a long white one that she had previously picked out (not purchased). It was a complete epic fail. The day still went on though and now I just look back, shake my head, and get a chuckle out of the whole incident. Good luck, OP! 🙂

The topic ‘FMIL Dress Situation / Question’ is closed to new replies.

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