Post # 32
@ladychatterley: I understand this one. My family can be extremely passive aggressive at times and it’s hard to not completely freak out on them at times.
So instead I fight fire with fire…stay pleasant and state something like it doesn’t bother me at all but definitely gets my point across.
For your situation I would probably just turn and and smile at her and agree. “Yes, you’re sooooo right! Gemstone erings are soooo cheap and tacky. I wonder what PRINCESS KATE thinks of her cheap tacky sapphire ering?!”…and just walk away while they sputter! 😉
Post # 33
What a bummer! Honestly, it seems that Future Mother-In-Law is panicking about “losing a son” and not focused on “gaining a daughter”. It wouldn’t matter if you were getting a diamond–she’d find something ELSE to bully you about. Sounds like there will be some bumps on the wedding planning road, but if you can bear it with a modicum of grace at least you’ll always feel good about YOUR behavior :).
Post # 34
wow…that’s really sad! First off, the ring choice is between you and your fiance…not her. Really…it’s none of her business what you pick as it’s YOUR ring. Let her have her “opinion” but ignore it.
Some people never get an e-ring or wedding ring, but are still married…does that mean they aren’t really “married?” of course not! It almost sounds as if your Future Mother-In-Law has other issues and it’s being taken out on the ring…just my thoughts.
Get what you love and forget about her issues..yikes. Good Luck!
Post # 35
@ladychatterley: That is so lame. Who in their right mind says you aren’t really getting married because you chose a different stone (or even no ring t all)????? She sounds pretty flipping immature.
Post # 36
That’s so rude. I hope she’s ok to deal with during the wedding planning. God forbid you do anything she doesn’t like.
Post # 37
Purple is my favorite color, I am so excited. We know it isn’t the most durable stone and are totally fine replacing it should something happen to it. It’s both fo our birthstones and Fiance is a total dork and loves the history/significance of the gem 🙂
Post # 38
I really appreciate your advice and I am going to try to do these things from now on. It’s funny that you mentioned a personality disorder as I have had some suspicion that she does suffer from a psychological disorder (other than the anxiety and depression she is already heavily medicated for) since I met her. It’s a mess.
Post # 39
She has a very, very large and fancy diamond ring. The diamonds are no where near colourless or flawless, but she is very proud of her 4 carats of diamonds and says all the time that she got that ring because her husband loves her and wanted her to have the biggest engagement ring. It’s icky.
We were considering not doing an e-ring at all. I don’t wear rings normally and would have been just fine with a really sparkly wedding band. I also considered getting an amethyst or purple sapphire eternity band as an e-ring. Glad I didn’t go with either of those plans, she would have had a field day.
Post # 40
Ignore it and do what you want. If she keeps bugging you about it, point out Kate Middleton’s amazing sapphire ering!
That said, I do agree with @dewingedpixie, amethyst might not be durable enough long term for an engagement ring. I have an amethyst RHR that is a bit scratched and I don’t even wear it every day. Could you do a purple sapphire instead?
Post # 41
Rock your ring with pride ♥ I’m sorry she’s being so rudely opinionated 🙁
Post # 42
The ring’s between you and your Fiance – it’s none of your FMIL’s business what you pick. The best thing to do with tantrums like this is to keep calm, stand your ground, and to ignore them. When people’s drama isn’t indulged, they usually fizzle themselves out and give up on trying to rile you up.
Post # 43
- Wedding: April 2013 - Rhode Island
@ladychatterley: Aww, I’m so sorry you’re dealing with a Future Mother-In-Law like that. She sounds like a close-minded traditionalist. You’re right that she probably will never like your ring. But hopefully you’re wrong that she’ll always voice that opinion to you. If your Fiance asks her to stop because she’s hurting your feelings, maybe she will. That won’t change her opinion, but at least that will get her to stop bullying you about your dream ring.
Post # 44
Fiance is really set on amethyst and the stone is going to be fairly well protected by the setting we have designed. The jeweler doesn’t seem to think it will be an issue. Although, the nice thing about amethyst is that it isn’t expensive, so if something does happen to it, we will just replace the stone 🙂
Post # 45
Well, when your Fiance proposes to his MOM, then she can design her dream ring.
Oh wait… she’s not marrying him? She’s already married? She has her own ring?
Then it’s none of her business and you should tell her so if she keeps it up.
Future Mother-In-Law, we love you but this is our engagment and we will do it how we see fit.
But here’s the trick: lesson learned, Future Mother-In-Law does not get to hear any more details about your wedding or anything pending or intimate about your lives.
She’s already proven herself to be a royal pain in the arse with your choices, and trust me… it’s only going to get worse with the wedding.
Good luck, OP!
Post # 46
purple is my favorite as well–I’m a little bit obsessed! I’m jealous that amethyst is your birthstone! I wear two amethyst RHRs and have some other amethyst jewelrey, so people think it’s my birthstone. But nope, I’m a December baby! One of the reasons my purple sapphire e-ring went over so well is that anyone who knows me knows how much I love purple!
Can’t wait to see pics of your ring once it’s done!!