Post # 1
For the past month or two Future Mother-In-Law has been tagging Fiance and I in EVERY SINGLE wedding video that goes viral. And I mean EVERY single one of them, the magician performance, the dad making a long speech as he’s giving his daughter away, the epic long one where various people keep coming in to ‘object’ and the groom and bridal party ‘fight’ them off etc.. Along with little comments like “get practising” or “can’t wait to see what kind of show you two put on for us”. There’s a new one or two everyweek popping up, and it’s gotten to the point where we don’t even acknowledge the tag.
Anytime we go over to her place, we’re constanly asked whether we’ve been practising for our viral video debut, which we both shut down. The first 5 or so times, we thought it was a joke, but now it’s become obvious that she actually expects us to do a viral video. FI and I make it clear that we are not planning some big surprise at our wedding, we’re not even having a videographer (due to cost and reality that neither of us see us watching it), so we’ve no idea where she’s gotten it in her head that we’re putting on some kind of performance for everyone. Neither of us are performers, sure we can give you a good belly ache from a chuckle here and there, but we’re not dancers/actors/performers in anyway, shape or form. We just want to get married with close family and friends, eat, drink and have a good time. I know that in the grand scheme of things, this isn’t a big deal, but it is really annoying when you’re constantly asked the same question over and over again when you’ve already given a direct answer. So Bees, what would you do in this situation? Cause we’re at a loss of what else we can say to try to get through to her. Thanks In Advance.
Post # 2
I would just ignore it. Easy for me to say when I’m not the one bombarded with videos every day, but at least that’s what I think
I would do. I am really good at ignoring people though.
Post # 3
If it was me, I would tell her in no uncertain terms that this is not you and you will not be doing this. You believe a wedding is a joyful but serious occasion and you want no part of a wedding as spectacle or performance.
I would be especially candid on the chance that she is the one planning something like this.
Post # 4
She really wants to go viral And expects entertainment to boot. I would ask her why that is so important in the first place. Your wedding isn’t a reality tv show. Let her know you plan on enjoying yourselves, stage shows not included.
Post # 5
Does she have a husband or partner? Perhaps your Fiance can have a chat with him, since he’s not getting through to his own mother. Another possibility is to get his sister to talk to her, if he has one.
Post # 6
Your future husband needs to talk to her. Have him tell her, for the last time, the answer is NO! For me, NO is an abbreviation for “NO WAY IN HELL!”
Post # 7
Social media has really upped the expectations for proposals and weddings. Have your Fiance talk to her about it and explain you’re not even having a videographer. It’s stressful enough trying to plan something for yourself, let alone other people! Good luck!
Post # 8
I’ll continue to try, but it does get a bit much when we’re constantly repeating ourselves.
Oh geez. The thought that maybe SHE was planning something hadn’t even crossed my mind! We’ll have to have a sit down talk with her and be VERY clear, NO VIRAL VIDEOS/EVENTS.
We’ve already said that to her. When we’ve asked her why does she want it, her answer is “it’d be cool/funny” , “something different” <– I laughed at that one and said “No it wouldn’t be! Everyone is doing it.”
She does have a partner, but they’re relationship is a bit unsteady atm, it’s FI’s stepdad and Future Mother-In-Law sometimes doesn’t listen to anyone, also wouldn’t listen to his sister. Future Mother-In-Law even tagged my Dad (a man who shys away from the limelight) in one of the father daughter dances and I got a panicked call from him asking if we had to do a “routine”. I said no, that I was just happy to stand up there and sway back and forth and he was relieved. She’s even tried talking to my Aunty (my mother figure) about them and she said straight away “Oh no, that’s not Kraykitty or Fiance. Can’t see them doing anything like that.” But alas, she continues. We’ll have to sit down and have a stern, final “no it’s not happening” talk.
We’ve definintely tried! Fiance is at breaking point with his family TBH as there’s also a few other issues going on in the background. We’ll try again.
Post # 9
When we told her that we weren’t having a videographer she got upset. We explained we couldn’t afford it and didn’t think it was a necessity for us. Her reply to this was “oh, you’ll change your mind as it gets closer. Just watch.” We get married in just over 100 days (that feels weird typing! haha) and nope, still no feeling of want or need for a videographer. You’re 100% right about social media though! It wasn’t so much and issue when Fiance proposed two years ago, he didn’t get any sort of pressure from her to do some big viral video for it. But now that it seems to be the thing to do, that’s a main topic of interest for her. *sigh*
Post # 10
Maybe you should just go along with it, tell her you’re planning something and that she needs to stop tagging you in this stuff because it will ruin the surprise. If she asks more questions about it (like what you’re doing or whether you are now having a videographer) just say “we’ve got it all under control” in a wink wink kind of way. Then, when the day comes and you don’t do anything like that, just shrug it off “oh we changed our minds”.
Post # 11
This is so bizarre! Plus, it’s a little obnoxious to expect you to put together some big performance to entertain her, when you’re, you know, planning a wedding. Does she think all weddings do this now?
I was going to suggest the same thing as flossy.lou; if you think it would shut her up, tell her you’re saving the surprise for the very end of the night. Then, when it comes and goes and nothing happens: surprise!
Post # 12
Thanks for the idea! We might have to go this route if she keeps it up.
Post # 13
Lol I can see the conversation now; Future Mother-In-Law “what about the video surprise?” Me: “the surprise was that there was NO surprise!” *Evil laugh*.
ETA: I don’t think she’s under the impression every wedding will feature a viral video moment. She’s said things before like wanting “15 minutes of fame”, but she should also know her son and I well enough by now to realise this isn’t us at all.
Post # 14
Tell her you wouldn’t want to steal her thunder. Surely she will have a viral video soon, crazy mother in laws on the loose.
Plus, what kind of person thinks you can set out to create a vital video and then it will go viral? Does she know how many people are doing that? It’s like the lottery.
Post # 15
omg! My mom does the second thing! She keeps bringing up choreographed dances! And asks if we are practicing and then when we tell her we aren’t doing that she goes, well why not?! You danced, you were a cheerleader, and you acted it shouldn’t be a problem for you. ( mind you all of those except acting were from around 3Rd grade, they dont count as doimg it) don’t be a chicken do something fun! It gets super annoying, I just always retaliate with if you do a dance, I will. That shuts her up until the next time. I wouldn’t worry about it, just make sure that she doesn’t have anything planned to make your wedding go viral.
Good luck and congrats!