Post # 1
My Fmil has decided that she would pay for our flowers (only the bouquets were not having any flowers at the reception). And now your all thinking awe thats so nice of her, which is what I think to. I also gave her free run to pick the flowers since I hate them. By free run I mean come with us and you pick what you think would look best and we’ll have the final veto. She knows this, she also knows how much of a stressed out bride I am. I hate surpises and always have, I like to have everything planned out as much as possible.
So the other night my Fiance decides to tell me that his mother told him that the flowers are going to be a surprise!!!! I
m sorry but I dont want to find out on my wedding day that I hate the flowers she picked. I
m absolutely in shock right now, who in their right mind thinks its ok to do this. Its awesome she wants to pay for them and help us choose them, but its not her wedding its ours (another long story lol). I dont know how to talk to her about it since she hasn
t actually told me yet just my Fiance, I dont want to sound selfish and ungrateful but I don`t want to have that one thing stressing me out up until the day of my wedding.
Any advice bees, I really need some help on this one!!
Post # 3
Oh that is a tough one – but be nice, address that you understand she is doing this out of love, and explain you would really like this to be something you do together.
My fiance thought it would be a good idea to have his brothers and mother pick out our “readings” during the ceremony. Ummmm.. It was difficult since he already told them to look for them. But we were able to talk it out.
Post # 4
I suggest talking it out, maybe Fiance can be present if that will make her more receptive to whatever you’ll have to say.
I agree with you, who would think that’s okay?!?!?
Good luck, hope it all works out.
Post # 5
can flowers be a cultural thing and you can use that as an excuse? meaning i hate chrysanthemums with a passion (italian funeral flowers) but in australia they are used as mothers day flowers and every time i see them i think of funerals
i dont think its wrong of you to not be “surprised” on your wedding day with flowers – i think its more than fair for you to be involved
Post # 6
@mrskrumpet: this sounds like something my Mother-In-Law would have totally done! She only wanted to do stuff for our wedding if it could be a surprise. Somehow we managed to foil most of the ‘surprises.’
You need your FH to talk to her (probably not with you if you tend to get emotional like me) and explain that while you both appreciate her generosity, you need to make sure the flowers will match your theme/colors and that you do not want it to be a surprise.
Post # 7
I’m sure it’s out of love – but I know I wouldn’t be ok with that either. I would have Fiance drop some hints to her (or flat out just tell her) that this isn’t a good medium for a surprise. A surprise is just fine for what you’re bringing for a potluck or maybe even a surprise shower; but a prominent part of the wedding like flowers is a bit much.
But on another hand, I’m thinking you might have told her you don’t care too much about the flowers and she ran with that. I would be gentle with her – I’m really getting the feeling that she meant well.