(Closed) FMIL flower drama

posted 6 years ago in Flowers
Post # 3
241 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Oh that is a tough one – but be nice, address that you understand she is doing this out of love, and explain you would really like this to be something you do together. 

My fiance thought it would be a good idea to have his brothers and mother pick out our “readings” during the ceremony.  Ummmm.. It was difficult since he already told them to look for them.  But we were able to talk it out.  

Post # 4
1475 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

I suggest talking it out, maybe Fiance can be present if that will make her more receptive to whatever you’ll have to say.

I agree with you, who would think that’s okay?!?!?

Good luck, hope it all works out.

Post # 5
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

can flowers be a cultural thing and you can use that as an excuse?  meaning i hate chrysanthemums with a passion (italian funeral flowers) but in australia they are used as mothers day flowers and every time i see them i think of funerals

i dont think its wrong of you to not be “surprised” on your wedding day with flowers – i think its more than fair for you to be involved

Post # 6
1199 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

@mrskrumpet:  this sounds like something my Mother-In-Law would have totally done!  She only wanted to do stuff for our wedding if it could be a surprise.  Somehow we managed to foil most of the ‘surprises.’

You need your FH to talk to her (probably not with you if you tend to get emotional like me) and explain that while you both appreciate her generosity, you need to make sure the flowers will match your theme/colors and that you do not want it to be a surprise. 

Post # 7
190 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I’m sure it’s out of love – but I know I wouldn’t be ok with that either. I would have Fiance drop some hints to her (or flat out just tell her) that this isn’t a good medium for a surprise. A surprise is just fine for what you’re bringing for a potluck or maybe even a surprise shower; but a prominent part of the wedding like flowers is a bit much.

But on another hand, I’m thinking you might have told her you don’t care too much about the flowers and she ran with that. I would be gentle with her – I’m really getting the feeling that she meant well.

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