(Closed) FMIL gave me a gift but..WTF continued!!!!! Vent

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
46376 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

You’re not an idiot, but this is a prime example of what can happen when we are not honest with someone. You were overly kind when she gave you the love letters, so now she thinks you actually want this stuff.

I think it’s time to tell her that you want no more memorabilia of your FI’s first marriage. If she thinks her granchildren might want it when they are grown, she can save it for them until then.

Post # 4
Member
102 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Honey, you’re not an idiot. Calmly tell the daughter that you were upset and made a mistake. You’re human, and you’re allowed to make mistakes. When she’s older you can truly explain. 

Post # 6
Member
1477 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Your Future Mother-In-Law is insane to think that you would want these things!

Post # 8
Member
225 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

@TexasSpringBride:  Ugh what a psycho woman. That is not a gift! You were a lot more mature than I would have been about the book and then the additional “gift” is just over the top. I am so sorry. 

 

I think julies is right on with her answer and if fmil does insist on continuing this crazy behavior up either a) designate a box in the back of a closet that you can toss it in and never look at it again unless the kids want it when they are older OR b) have your Fiance ask his mom to keep track of it for them. 

 

 

Post # 9
Member
4355 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I see what she’s trying to do and you’re completely right. She wants you to flip, fight with Fiance, upset his girls.. whatever so she can say “I told you so” and scoop him back up under her wing making you look like the bad one.

Just keep your cool and don’t let her get to you. Once you’re married I feel like she’ll back off because the comittment will have been made. Hang in there!

Post # 10
Member
225 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

Op, just read your followup comments. I say go with the box and take pleasure in the fact that her tricks won’t be working. It will drive her crazy to see you not upset. 

Post # 11
Member
238 posts
Helper bee

@Peony007:  THIS!

 

Who does that, honestly???? She crazy.

Post # 12
Member
4327 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 1992

Stand up to her. You will not be seeing her unless or until she can act like an adult. No visits to the house for her, nothing. Take it or leave it kind of deal.

Your Fiance can go to her place all he wants, but until she acts civilly, she isn’t welcome.

Post # 13
Member
1629 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Ugh!!  I don’t blame you for losing your temper.  That’s crazy.  Seriously I can’t even believe people’s families act like this.  You are a freakin saint.  As for the ten year old I would just be honest with her.  Tell her you saw the pictures of them together and you got jealous and lost your temper.  Explain to her that it was very childish and that you’re sorry she had to see that.  Also maybe throw something in about how her mother is a great woman and you didn’t mean anything personal against her.  A ten year old is old enough to understand the concept of jealousy.  I would leave grandma out of that conversation completely.

Post # 15
Member
1041 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@MrsSawyer:  I don’t know if I agree.  I had a psycho Mother-In-Law and she got even more psycho after the wedding…like she was trying to drive all women away and look like the hero to my ex.  It was weird.

@TexasSpringBride:  I think there is another way to handle this.  You need to put her in her place without sounding like a b*tch.  Next time she decides to give you something so obnoxious, tell her that you don’t need it, but you can store it for her in your basement/closet/attic so that it doesn’t take space in her house.  Don’t act like you wanted it, appreciate it, etc.  Act like you just did her a favor.

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