(Closed) FMIL got professional pictures in the dress before the wedding?

posted 8 years ago in Family
Post # 17
Member
1068 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

I don’t really understand why you’re upset… it’s not like she wore YOUR dress! I brought my Future Mother-In-Law shopping, knowing that she plans on wearing the dress this summer for a cruise before my wedding. I’m happy about it. She might as well get as many uses out of it as she can! As for your Future Mother-In-Law gettin glamour shots done, older women do that when they need a confidence booster because they feel ugly.  So she wanted to feel pretty for a day. What’s wrong with that?

Post # 18
Member
104 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I really don’t see the issue here.  She loves her dress so she had glamour shots done in it – why does it matter if this was done before the wedding??  I know you are concerned that the dress is ruined now but it sounds like it’s going to be fine.  I wouldn’t worry about it.

Post # 19
Member
3314 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I have to agree with the other posters.  I think you are over reacting on this.  It’s her dress to do with as she pleases and if it gets messed up, then it’s her’s to deal with.  Maybe she was just so excited about how much she loved the dress that she wanted to share that by letting you know she had pics taken in it.

Post # 20
Member
2095 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

As someone whose mother decided to direct the photographer where she wanted him for a half an hour while the bridal party was supposed to be getting pictures done. I would much rather that any pictures get taken beforehand rather than during the reception.

I honestly think she was so excited to get dressed up that she wanted some pictures for herself of it. It doesn;t sound like the ddress is ruined so I would just let it go.

Post # 21
Member
2 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I understand your distress.

The only time I would flip out is if she brings her glamour shots and wants them displayed at the wedding or the reception.

 

Post # 22
Member
4619 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

I do understand why youre upset. But like PPs have said, it’s really a very small thing.  And it’s her dress, she can do what she likes with it really.

Post # 23
Member
2861 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I guess it had never occured to you to be happy for her? Happy that she feels so rockin’ about herself that she treated herself to portraits? I’m sure doing that was a very big deal to her as a woman who never got the dress experience during her own wedding. Calm down and let her have her moment. 

Post # 25
Member
1513 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

i havent had my day yet, but i have a feeling that you have bigger things on your mind than your guests’ attire. i can almost guarantee you will not spend your wedding day looking at your MIL’s dress. you’ll have a brand new DH who looks smoking hot in his tux and that is all you will care about.

Post # 26
Member
122 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Try not to stress over it – she’s worn the dress now there isnt anything you can do about it.

Post # 27
Member
5976 posts
Bee Keeper

I’m really confused…did you buy the dress for her? If not, then what are you worried about? That you spent time helping her pick out a dress and she almost ruined it? I think it’s kind of cute that she went out and got pictures in it…she’s excited about how she looks…be happy for her! I honestly don’t think she’s done anything all that wrong here and think you’re getting upset over something really silly.

Post # 28
Member
1375 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I’m really not sure of the issue.

You and your Future Mother-In-Law had a nice day dress shopping and going out to lunch.  She felt so confident in the dress that she decided to get glamour shots taken in it.  She spent her own money on the photos, hair, and makeup.  The dress got dirty.  She got the dress dry-cleaned and it looks fine.

Why did she share this with you, you wonder?  Maybe she wanted you to know how excited she was that she found a dress that she looks and feels great in! 

Post # 29
Member
1100 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Um, I don’t see the issue, I don’t really think there is one.

Keep Calm and Marry on 🙂

Post # 30
Member
359 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

Probably not what you’re wanting to hear but if my Future Mother-In-Law did this I would think it was so incredibly sweet. She likes the dress so much and wants to remember the moment enough to go and get professional photos done. Be happy she didn’t take pictures of YOUR dress, now that is the dress that matters! 😉

Post # 31
Member
424 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Maybe it would help if you tried to put yourself in her shoes.  I’m making a big assumption here and could be completely off but from the way you said she bought her wedding dress it doesn’t sound like she’s the type of person who buys beautiful or expensive things for herself very often.  I imagine she probably feels about her dress about like how you feel about your dress – totally excited to wear it and confident and beautiful with it on.  Though getting her hair and makeup done in the dress was probably not the best decision I would guess her thought process was that after wearing it for a whole day, eating in it, dancing in it, probably sweating in it, the dress wouldn’t look as good after the wedding and she wants something about it, how beautiful it makes her feel and the significance of wearing it for the wedding to hold on to in the future.  You’re getting bridal portraits, right???  

As long as the dress isn’t messed up I’d cut her some slack, and if it is its really her responsibility to deal with getting it fixed.  Its easy to stress out about everything leading up to the wedding, but I’d just try to focus on what you’re doing to get ready and let what she’s doing roll of your back.

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