(Closed) FMIL got professional pictures in the dress before the wedding?

posted 8 years ago in Family
Post # 63
Member
332 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Well I never heard someone doing that but it doesn’t shock me. If she paid for it she can walk all through town wearing it if she wants. If she is the one with spots on her dress then what’s the problem? If you feel it “represents” you negatively, it’s not your mom anyway, so why do you care? I don’t really see a problem. If that was the only problem I had with my in-laws, I’d be in heaven.

Post # 64
Member
4464 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

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@mandypop:  LIKE

I really don’t understand why this a problem. I’m happy for your Mother-In-Law that she finally got some glamour pictures of herself that she loves since she obviously didn’t have any before – if she got her wedding dress a day before her wedding at JC Penney I would think you would be happy for her too.

Are these pictures going to be displayed at the wedding? Is everyone going to be pointing and staring and saying, “That is a WORN dress?” No one will even know the difference. And if she took it to the cleaners and it’s fine, then I’m sure it’s fine. Do you think she’d want to wear a dress with spots all over it at the wedding? And I also don’t think you’ll end up staring at her dress the whole wedding trying to find spots. You probably won’t even be thinking about what anyone else is wearing by the time the day of the wedding comes, let alone spots on a dress, while you’re facing marrying the man of your dreams.

I have friends whose parents wore the same dress to some of their children’s weddings. My best friend got married a week after her brother and her mother wore the same dress to both weddings.

Post # 65
Member
6036 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2019 - City, State

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@MrsHart2Bee:  I just don’t get the issue here. And I think basically making fun of this lady like this is just uncalled for.

Post # 66
Member
4464 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

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@JackiMoon:  I feel like if she wanted to confess, she could’ve picked up the phone or asked to get together to talk about things.


I’m confused as to what she needs to “confess” or why she would need to “pick up the phone to talk about things.” She should be proud of those pictures and if she told you about them then she’s sharing with you, not confessing

Post # 67
Member
431 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

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@stardustintheeyes:  Yea really sad, mean, and just plain hurtful and immature. I feel bad for the mother :-/ 

Post # 69
Member
6036 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2019 - City, State

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@star_dust:  I was going to say this same thing. there is nothing to CONFESS. And no need for a phone call IMO.

Post # 70
Member
289 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

her fault if she looks stupid

Post # 71
Member
134 posts
Blushing bee

OP I think you’re overreacting. From my POV your Future Mother-In-Law had a hair & makeup trial and a photography test shoot.   It doesn’t sound at all like she’s doing this in an attempt to supercede you: it sounds more like she’s trying to look her best for your benefit on your big day.  Compared to some stunts FMILs pull  (like wearing a white dress to compete with the bride, or a black dress to mourn at what should be a happy occasion), you should count your blessings and chill out on trying to control stuff that is really peripheral in the grand scheme of things.

Post # 72
Member
3885 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

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@JackiMoon:  

I kinda feel bad for her, because I feel like she doesn’t know these common sense things like don’t put on your outfit until your hair and makeup is done.

It’s really unfair for you to assume what should be common sense things. Common sense is “don’t take a bath with the toaster oven.”  The practical approach to fashion, makeup and all those other things are skills learned over time, with exposure, and easily forgotten once you’re out of the habit. Don’t pity her because she’s had a different upbringing and learned different skills. It comes off as being snobbish.

 I feel like if she wanted to confess, she could’ve picked up the phone or asked to get together to talk about things.


This makes it sound like you expect her to be ashamed or sorry for what happened. There’s nothing TO confess. A grown adult chose to wear a fancy dress and treat herself to some fancy photos then had a little makeup accident with the fancy dress.  A face-to-face meeting would be COMPLETELY over the top in this scenario, as is equating this with intentionally damaging the dress, wearing YOUR dress, or many other things that would truly require confession and remourse.

OP I think you really need to learn how not to project your priorities, standards and goals onto your Future Mother-In-Law. She is a different person, with a different style, and different ways of doing things. This doesn’t make her way right or wrong, it just means “different.”  She will never do things or see things the way you do and shouldn’t be judged based on your standards— otherwise you will find, after years and years of missed marks, that the two of you end up not liking each other very much.

Post # 73
Member
1243 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

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@stardustintheeyes:  I agree.

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@JackiMoon:  I really do think that you’re looking at this all the wrong way.  Your Mother-In-Law didn’t get to buy a big wedding dress or (probably) have nice photos taken of her during her wedding.  She bought an awesome dress for yours (take a gander at some of the stories here of Mother-In-Law and MOB refusing to buy anything or wearing something completely inappropriate…you don’t have that problem) that she feels great in and got some pictures done.  Good for her!  Would I do this?  No, but that’s because I have horrible luck and I would ruin the dress.  lol  

IF she had accidently ruined the dress, it would be her problem to fix.  Not yours.  Honestly, it seems like there’s some stuff going on here under the surface and you’ve decided to fixate on this problem.  Have there been issues where what you think is common sense has confused your MIL?  Really think about whether this is something you want to spend energy on.

Post # 74
Member
1243 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

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@GroovyHippieChick:  LMAO!

God, I love that movie.

Deb: I could wrap you in some foam, or something billowy? 


Post # 75
Member
2724 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

ETA: not worth it

Post # 76
Member
1278 posts
Bumble bee

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@mandypop:  +1.  I feel the same way.

I don’t even understand why this would bother anyone.

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