(Closed) FMIL guest drama!

posted 13 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
68 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

This is a complicated issue, for sure. You shouldn’t have to limit your family members just so she can invite random friends! But maybe she was just expressing the worry that your family will overwhelm hers–I understand that you want to think of everyone as "our family", but it sounds like she sees the situation in clear-cut numbers. My fiance and I decided to split our guest list down the middle, though we’re obviously not going to be that strict about it. He has a big family and we’re only having 50 people; we want to make sure people that are important to both of us are there. However, these women your future mother in law wants to invite are not meaningful to you OR your fiance. So I say that you stick to your original plans, but maybe talk to your fiance to make sure that he feels like he has enough representation there. Good luck!! 

Post # 4
1652 posts
Bumble bee

Ugg.  That’s hard.  I think it’s really wrong to look at it, as she does.  If she invites her freinds, other people think they should be ableto invite theirs.  I understand feeling like more money is being spent on "someone else".  But really this just happens to be the circumstnace.  It’s no one’s fault that you happen to have a ton more people in your family.  If she wanted to slim down the list, to equal number, would she think it was OK to invite some of her distant relatives, while you have to cross off some aunts and uncles?

I think you should figure out how you and your Fiance want to divide it.  Then Fiance should be firm with his mom.

Well maybe I should ask, is she paying for some of this wedding?  If so, can she just pay for folks she’s inviting?  Then maybe she won’t feel slighted, and will perhaps find that she really doesn’t need to invite her hair stylist’s cousin’s neighbor.

Post # 5
154 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

first and foremost (((hugs)))

I agree with the other bees talk with your Fiance and be firm with your decision. If she’s still insisting then have her pay for the guests.

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