- 7 years ago
- Wedding: November 2011
Well I have finally gotten FH to admit it would have been better to elope…
So Future Mother-In-Law has a stationary business and therefore by default, is handling all of our wedding stationary needs, including Save-The-Date Cards. We ordered them and they came in last week. Future Mother-In-Law then takes it upon herself to start addressing all of ‘her’ envelopes and asks me for the rest of the guest list so she can do that for us too. Seems helpful, right?
NO…more like sneaky and controlling to me! She sent me a rough guest list right after we got engaged and I was OK with it because a) there are a lot of people that absoultely will not come (ie they are Orthodox Jews and will not come to a Saturday wedding) and b) we had to guarantee a minimum amount at our venue and with everyones lists (my parents, FH and I, FILs) we would not go over the minimum guarantee. My parents are paying for the whole reception and Future In-Laws have not offered up anything.
Back to the Save-The-Date Cards. I had a gut feeling that FMILs list may have changed since the initial list, so FH and I stopped by Future In-Laws house to “see the STDs” and also so I could check out her guest list. SURPRISE – there are people on her list that were NOT on the original list. Future Mother-In-Law wasn’t home, but Future Father-In-Law and Future Sister-In-Law are there and see me kind of getting upset – they talk to Future Mother-In-Law later and tell her she has to give me a guest list and that she needs to have a ‘B’ list – not ALL of her potential guests can get STDs!! FH also tells her that we have a guest limit and she cannot go over it.
OK so Future Father-In-Law types up a more formal list and emails it to us – it has now GROWN TO 90 PEOPLE (from 70-75 before) and 1 couple is on the B list!!!!! WTF!! My parents aren’t even inviting HALF that amount and they are paying for the whole reception!!!! FH and I have a resonable list of maybe 50 with some of that on a B list. Our budget is for 140 guests.
FH calls Future Mother-In-Law and tries to explain that she has WAY too many people and needs to cut at least 20. She yells at him and says that a lot of people aren’t going to come, and that her list is based off of his bar mitzvah list from OVER 15 YEARS AGO AND SHE PAID FOR THAT! FH tries to explain that even with all the relatives not coming, she still has too many people, and that my parents are paying for all of this and she cannot invite whoever she wants. She hangs up on him at some point.
He calls back and she finally starts slashing the list, she still has the largest share of guests but it now falls in our limit of 140. She also agreed to pay if we went over 140.
Mind you, she still has all of her Save-The-Date Cards because they are waiting for some addresses and the envelopes are half addressed. I, being completely paranoid and a control freak, want her Save-The-Date Cards because I feel like she will still send them out knowing she cannot invite some people. FH says I am ridiculous (quite possible) but the fact that she was just going to have me send over my and my parents lists and SHE would send everything out, inviting whoever she wanted without telling me or my parents, just is BEYOND rude and sneaky and I do not trust her.
I mean really, HOW DARE SHE????
OK…end rant 🙂 Slowly calming down…