(Closed) FMIL Guest List Issues

posted 10 years ago in Family
Post # 3
59 posts
Worker bee

What I did with my Future Mother-In-Law was told her a number that she could have that we were splitting the guest list into thirds.  1/3 = grooms side, 1/3 = brides side and 1/3 = friends and vendors.  She did not want to listen and did the same thing that your Future Mother-In-Law is doing, she even wanted me to send out save the dates and invatations because she had gotten invatations to peoples childrens graduation parties and we had to invite them to be nice!!  I explained to her that I needed a list of x number of people that she wanted to invite and if there were extra spaces to make a B list of people and then they would be able to come.  I don’t believe that you should be excluding people that are close to you just so that your Future Mother-In-Law can invite people who might not come and take away the feel of the wedding that you guys are going for.  I would just try to explain to her why she has to keep it to that number, that it is not about the money (in a nice way of course) and allow her to invite people in extra spaces you have for guests that can not make it. 

Good Luck!

Post # 5
2083 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I absolutely went through the same sort of thing when it came to our guest list with my Mother-In-Law. Thank goodness my side of the family is actually small. No, scratch that – it is small because I didn’t feel the need to invite random third cousins and what not. My husband seems to have a lot of “aunts” – and by that I mean random people he refers to as aunt even though they aren’t even his aunt. I don’t get that whole concept. Anyway, you need to nip this in the butt NOW. I was so stressed out about this because it is your Mother-In-Law, you obviously don’t want to make an argument with the woman. I felt much better about my feelings on the situation when we did our required pre-marital counseling stuff for the church we got married in and even the priest told us not to feel obligated to please our parents just because they were paying for a portion of the wedding and to remember that the bottom line is that it is YOUR wedding. My husband ended up being the one to tell her she needed to cut her list. She continuted to try to add people up until like 2 weeks before the wedding, but held a pretty united front and didn’t back down. Our problem was the budget, not max capacity though so we did let her invite like 10 extra people so long as she paid for them completely. Good luck with this. In law situations can be very frustrating.

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