Post # 1
This is something that is sort of bothering me.
At my bridal shower over the weekend, my Future Mother-In-Law did somewhat of a speech. Note: My mom wasn’t there.
Anyhow, she opened up by saying that I was very special to my parents because they had trouble concieving and adopted my older brother. The adoption process was difficult and they didn’t want to go through it again- this part is true.
Then she said that my parents concieved me by in vitro fertilization-this part is not true, my mom took fertility pills and got pregnant with me via good ol’ fashioned sex with her husband, my dad.
What bothers me is not that everyone who was there now thinks I’m a test tube baby (I’m not indicating that is inferior in any way) but that shared information that was pretty personal as well as wrong. If you could have seen my face…
I don’t think there’s much I can/should do. If I tell my Future Mother-In-Law that she was wrong and I was embarassed, she would just feel bad. I love her but she just tends to get information wrong. And it’s not like she can unsay what she said. And I don’t think it would be appropriate to contact everyone who was at the shower to set them straight on how I was concieved.
Not sure how to handle this, if at all.
*Edited for spelling and spacing issues.
Post # 3
Why the fuck did she think that was appropriate to talk about?
Post # 4
@missjuli: If the conversation comes up you can politely correct her, and those who have been told the wrong thing. But ultimately it’s not a big deal and you don’t need to dwell on it.
If I was told that about someone unless I was planning on trying IVF I would probably forget it to be honest, it’s just a small misunderstanding in my opinion. 🙂
Post # 6
@missjuli: Pardon my French but.
What the actual fuck? How is a person’s conception EVER appropriate to discuss in a SPEECH?
What? Just. What? I can’t even.
Post # 7
@vorpalette: I guess she just wanted to emphasize why my parents are grateful for my life??? We were in the company of women who I know from church. It’s a tight-knit bunch and many of them are like family to me.
But still- no one’s business how I was concieved.
Post # 8
Good lord woman! Why on earth would she bring this up during a speech? Holy moly. :/
Post # 9
so take her aside and let her know that while you’re sure she meant no harm, you felt that it was innapropriate of her to speak about such personal things (especially since it didn’t involve her) and that actually, you were not conceived via ivf.
say it nicely, and then watch all the colour drain from her face. all. of. it.
and yes, she will be embarrassed (as she should be) but embarassment never killed anyone, and at least you’ll have the decency to set her straight in private.
AND i doubt she’ll be doing that again. ie – her wedding toast, rehearsal dinner etc. i’d rather embarrass her slightly now so that she can zip her lip for the rest of my life.
Post # 10
That is just flat out bizarre craziness.
Post # 11
@missjuli: I…find it bizzare that your Future Mother-In-Law gave a speech at your bridal shower that contained information (correct or incorrect) involving your and your brothers conception. WTF? What point was she trying to make exactly? Why would she think this was appropriate to discuss in a room full of people? Even if she felt you would be okay with it – what about your parents? Why does she even have any of this information anyway?
While I”m sure the speech was well intentioned – it was way, way off base. Perhaps you or your Fiance could have a quiet, “oh, by the way…” type conversation with your Future Mother-In-Law and just say that you were, actually conceived naturally but these details are really something you would prefer be kept within the family.
Post # 12
@peonyinlove: +1 i’d be concerned she’ll get up and talk about it in a speech at the wedding. you or Fiance should at least set her straight on the issue and let her know you were really embarrassed.
Post # 13
Even if it were true, that is kind of an odd thing to talk about at a shower. I feel like thats pretty private information…
Post # 14
I would take her aside and just chat with her, telling her that you were a little surprised that she would share such intimate details about your start-of-life with the guests. She probably wasn’t trying to share intimate details, but was just trying to explain that you are a special person. The fact that she has the details incorrect isn’t as much of a concern to me, those can be laughed at later while enjoying a few glasses of wine.
Post # 15
Um. Oh dear.
i second talking to her about it and mentioning that you would prefer that intimate family details like that should be kept only between family…not mentioned in speeches. Ever. Ever ever ever.
my god, what a speech blooper!
Post # 16
I would most definitely talk to her about this, whether she feels bad or not. She needs to know this was NOT ok to say and it wasn’t ok to give false information. She needs to get her facts straight before she talks to people. It wasn’t her business to tell.