(Closed) FMIL has me feeling insecure about my relationship

posted 5 years ago in Family
Post # 2
Member
2979 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

She’s being petty and rude. What a way to welcome your DIL sheesh!

Enjoy your engagement and let it roll off your back.

Post # 3
Member
3756 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2015 - Hotel Ballroom

When I got engaged I called my Mom. Her reaction was “well….your high school sweetheart gave you a promise ring…are you sure this isn’t the same thing” *facepalm* yes Mom I’m frigging sure! She always got pleasure out of ‘taking the wind out of my sails’. Another example…when I got accepted to my dream college she refused to hug me, looked at me deadpan and went “ok…” Or when I found out my SIL was pregnant I called her to tell her I was going to be an aunt. She said “well…you mean [DH] is going to be an uncle…YOU have no relation to this baby…”

My point is that some people are just cunts like that.

Post # 4
Member
2274 posts
Buzzing bee

Nothing has been “snatched away” from you.

It is SHE who has lost, big time, and I hope she will soon realize and figure out how to earn your trust and affection again. You may or may not choose to allow her a second chance, but whatever you do, you’re RIGHT.

My Mother-In-Law was actually blatantly selfish, and obscenely bizarre about expressing it. I learned very quickly that I had no tools that would earn her peace, and upon being attacked one too many times (maybe when my Fiance bought her a dishwasher instead of a diamond ring when I got engaged and she threw a massive fit) I backed off and left her to her own miseries.

Don’t try. It is truly not worth your time.

Enjoy every minute of your life with Fiance, and live as far away from her as possible.

Post # 5
Member
265 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2002

I wouldn’t take that.  I  would let her know that her son is certainly his own man, and she raised him to be his own man, and her comments she made to you really hurt your feelings.  He was in no way pressured to do something he didn’t want to.

Let her know from the get go that you are not a wilting flower to that crap and she won’t do it again.

 

Post # 6
Member
2274 posts
Buzzing bee

View original reply
olives3 :  She MIGHT not do it again, or she may ramp it up. Better to regard and treat her like the pathetic nothing she is, IMO.

Neither ignoring nor engaging will change a crumb to a wedding cake.

Post # 7
Member
101 posts
Blushing bee

First of all, massive congrats to you and your new FI! 

and, what a horrid woman! That’s an awful thing to say, does your Fiance know she made that remark? What was his reaction?

When you say she saw you pinning – is that because it is a public board? Maybe things like this are better kept on private boards so they remain between you and your Fiance. 

Post # 8
Member
914 posts
Busy bee

That was totally rude of her. When I told my guy about my pinterest page (we’re not egaged yet) he said, “of course! all girls have a ring page.” Granted, he’s definitely generalizing, but pinning rings is not an unusual thing AT ALL. That doesn’t pressure guys AT ALL. 

Also, whether there was “pressure” or not, your amazing FH chose to propose. He clearly planned it, put thought into it, and wanted it. He wants to marry you. His mom is being mean for no reason. 

Post # 9
Member
10286 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

So she’s stalking your Pinterest board so she can attack you as pressuring her son. How sweet. 

I would realize she just told you who she is and its not pretty. But the most important thing is ask your Fiance if he felt that way and expressed it to her. If not, you have nothing to worry about except for a nasty Mother-In-Law. 

The biggest challenge there is finding out if your Fi has your back. If he does, let her be and spend as little energy on her as possible. 

Post # 10
Member
565 posts
Busy bee

Firstly congratulations! Now go home and bask in the excitement and happiness of your family and keep your Mother-In-Law on a need to know basis on everything including wedding plans she’s earned it. 

Post # 11
Member
2543 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

View original reply
BalletParker :  is right! She’s stalking your boards!

 

So I’d start pinning “problematic mil” stuff onto that board. And “when my husband is mad at his mother…”, “when his mother can’t let go”, “when his mother thinks he’s still a little boy”

Mwa ha ha ha.

And then kill her with kindness.

Post # 13
Member
1171 posts
Bumble bee

View original reply
rs2reba :  Congrats, i know the feeling of having someone say something rude to you when you’re just super excited.

Before I offer any advice, can you just elaborate on you’re relationship with her? Does she openly not like you? Or?

The topic ‘FMIL has me feeling insecure about my relationship’ is closed to new replies.

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