(Closed) FMIL has no outfit and wedding's this month! [RANT]

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
2965 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I personally don’t give a damn what FI’s mom is wearing. She told Fiance she wasn’t coming JUST to try to upset him. I know she’s coming but she won’t be in any pics with me. She gets ONE with Fiance but that’s it and it won’t be in the album or anywhere near the inside of my house. Fiance can keep it in his car. I’m expecting her to show up in white but whatever happens to her if she does is not my problem. I’m going to smile and enjoy my day.

Post # 4
Member
735 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Yes… but it’s probably my fault.

My mom and Future Mother-In-Law both keep asking me what they should wear.  I’ve told them both what my general expectations are (We’re outside, so something nice that won’t be too hot, and shoes that won’t sink in.  They’ve seen my dress and the MOH’s dress and Fiance will be wearing a suit, so they should have an idea of general formality.)

I live 2,300+ miles away from the moms… I can’t go shopping with them.  I just want them there and happy!

Post # 5
Member
200 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

 I agree with @lindseyl06: just smile and enjoy your day. 

When we announced our engagement my Future Mother-In-Law asked me if there was a particular colour I wanted her to wear.  I told her no (since we dont have a colour scheme) but I said “no black though” because in my culture, it’s not well seen to wear black at a wedding.  Then this week I asked her if she bought her dress, she said no but she knows it will be a black dress so she is not too worried.  Fiance is upset, since he knows I told her no black.  But I decided not to care.  We will look fabulous and if she doesnt want to get on board, that’s her problem.

Post # 6
Member
5670 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

This was my mom. I undertstand your frustration, but trust me when I say it’ll all work out and she will show up to your wedding in something to wear. You have too many things to worry about right now and do not need to worry about your Future Mother-In-Law getting dressed. And in regards to colors, my Mother-In-Law wore pink and my mother wore navy and I got some beautiful pictures and they are not in black and white.

My mother had a gown custom made and then decided she hated it. Went searching everywhere and ended up buying a dress from Nordstrom Rack a week before my wedding. She got her shoes and accesories too and looked gorgeous.

Post # 8
Member
1659 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

It sucks that they procrastinated, but they’re adults and I’d hope that they’d be able to handle this on their own. Don’t stress about it – I’m sure you have bigger thins to handle right now!

Post # 9
Member
11271 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

i wasn’t too concerned what the mothers were wearing.  my mom wore a dress that she already had in her closet.  it was lovely.  my step-mom surprised me and went out and got her dress as soon as i brought it up.  my mil on the other hand was a bit more difficult.  she took forever.  we looked together at many stores and she kept pointing out some gorgeous dresses but she didn’t want to try them on.  she didn’t want the typical mob/mog looking dress.  she called them old lady dresses.  well, she kept putting it off and putting it off and ended up with an old lady looking dress.  i think it’s partly due to her body image insecurity.  she looked fine.  she was comfortable and looked like herself in it.

Post # 10
Member
14 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: December 2011

It doesn’t matter what she wears.  The family picture isn’t the most important one . . . you’ll realize that once you get everything back. (wait, correction, the family picture won’t be the most important one to YOU, but it will be to HER (MIL and SIL)).  Your most special pictures will be the ones of you and Darling Husband and all the wedding details.  Don’t worry about what she wears, it’s just going to put unecessary stress and pressure on you.  As for allowing your SIL to use your MUA, I strongly recommend AGAINST that!  SIL will most likely not be satisfied and take up more than her allotted time getting her make up done, re-done, and re-touched.  That means you run the risk of YOUR make up not getting done to the best of your MUA capability.  Why does she need her make up done anyway?  It’s not her wedding???  If they’re that picky, I wouldn’t allow them anywhere near you before the ceremony.  It will be all talk about “how does this look?” “I don’t really like my hair/makeup that way” etc. etc.  It will be one thing after another.

And a little heads up for when the pictures come back. . . don’t give them copies of everything.  Pick out just a few that you want them to have.  I made the mistake of gifting a copy of the CD to Mother-In-Law and whenever she shows the photos off to people she always flips through the ones of me and Darling Husband so quickly, but slows down and puases on each one of THEIR family.  There was ONE photo she ordered from the photographer on professional print, and it was the picture of THEIR family taken before the ceremony (without me in it).  If your IL’s are even a fraction of the narcissism that mine are, the day will be about them (in their eyes only of course).  Keep them away from you until after the ceremony!

Post # 12
Member
693 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I was looking on here for a thread just like this!! My Future Mother-In-Law is lovely and bought a few dresses and sent me pics. She’s taken care of. MY MOTHER AND SISTER….are killing me….my wedding is in 11 days. I sent my mother a very plain, short sleeved, cotton dress (beach wedding) in the wedding colors (she was saying since we are doing turquoise that she would wear her velour track suit pants..sooo). I sent her the dress months ago because she couldn’t find anything, they live far away from stores, etc etc.  Suddenly, she wants a new one. My sister, who is my Maid/Matron of Honor, doesn’t have a dress. I sent her two, I bought one and my Bridesmaid or Best Man bought one. She didn’t like either or they didn’t fit right. She is now sending me pics of dresses from Goodwill that “aren’t in her size but they are only $7 and she can put a piece in them to fit”. But, seriously?!?! My wonderful Bridesmaid or Best Man found a few beachy dresses at Old Navy, long, short, ivory, embroidered, that go perfectly. She has purchased two for herself. My sister doesn’t like either of them and got huffy on the phone and told me to “Just send me a dress and I’ll pay you for it at the wedding!!!” Uh, yeah, we already did that. Twice.

 

I’m over it ladies!! Just a few more days til I’m sitting on the beach with a margarita.

Post # 13
Member
1330 posts
Bumble bee

My wedding is in a month and my Future Mother-In-Law doesn’t have her dress either. I suggested we go shopping next week, however she is really going on the casual side and even though we are having a cocktail reception, the wedding itself isn’t like in the backyard–its at an art-gallery-looking building on the water.

Argggh. I feel your pain!

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