(Closed) FMIL, her flip flops are driving me crazy!!! Sorry Long Vent!!

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
471 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Is she bipolar? That’s a lot of mood swings in a short period of time.

Post # 4
Member
1460 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Okay, first of all I thought this post was going to be about your Future Mother-In-Law wanting to wear flipflops to your wedding but since it’s not….

I agree that she sounds as if she could be bipolar.

Post # 6
Member
389 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Awe man I thought this was about flip flops and stinky feet or something too. I got all ready to LOL but instead I’m SMH…she’s coo-coo for coco puffs. 

Post # 10
Member
705 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

BIPOLAR DISORDER IS NOT CHARACTERIZED BY RAPID MOOD SWINGS!!!!!  IT IS NOT CHARACTERIZED BY SWINGS OF NORMAL HAPPINESS AND SUDDEN ANGER/HOSTILITY!!!



BPD is a cycling mood disorder but rapid cycling is not that common–usually the cycles between depression and mania last at least 30 days each but are frequently longer.  Depression is characterized by a lack of energy–insomnia, irritability, sadness, feelings of hopelessness, an inability to get out of bed, poor hygiene, lack of interest in normal activities among other symptoms.  Mania is characterized by a major surpus of energy–rapid speaking, flitting from topic to topic, delusiouns of grandeur, overcommittment to several projects, difficulty sitting still, lack of verbal filter among other symptoms.  

Your Future Mother-In-Law does not have BPD–she’s a bitch.  She wants your fiance to think that she’s being super nice and awesome and then you stab her in the back after how nice she is to you.  She does not like you and does not want you to marry her son. That’t not a mental illness, that’s her being awful and trying to manipulate her son.

Post # 12
Member
705 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@TexasSpringBride:  There is not much you can do besides kill her with kindness.  It’s no fun but keep reaching out and being as polite and sweet as possible.  Don’t give her any ammunition to use against you without her having to actually lie about it.  Try not to be alone with her if you can avoid it.  You can’t fix this, you just have to deal with it as best you can.

Post # 13
Member
6892 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

@zomgwut:  Your Future Mother-In-Law does not have BPD–she’s a bitch.  She wants your fiance to think that she’s being super nice and awesome and then you stab her in the back after how nice she is to you.  She does not like you and does not want you to marry her son. That’t not a mental illness, that’s her being awful and trying to manipulate her son.

Yeah, exactly what she said. She sounds awful and she is trying to manipulate the crap out of your Fiance. Unfortunately, it sounds like it’s working. Have you explained any of this to him? What does he say? I feel for you because my Father-In-Law can be the same way when things aren’t going exactly as he wants. I basically told Darling Husband (while we were dating) that he better choose now and save us all from the bs. He chose me. I don’t normally believe in ultimatums, but I was not about to enter into a life-long power struggle with my Father-In-Law. I try to bite my tongue when it’s over little stuff nowadays to not rock the boat, but if something really bothers me I’m not afraid to tell Darling Husband. You’ve got to get it figured out sooner rather than later, OP, because she sounds like a bitch.   

Post # 14
Member
1460 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@zomgwut:  Actually it can be characterized by quick swings and there are 2 types:  BPD I and BPD II. 

I’m not saying that she’s not a bitch too.  I think the OP is in for a world of trouble with this woman and her future husband.  🙁 

Post # 15
Member
3092 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I think you and your Fiance need to get on the same page.  The mom can be however she wants…mean, nice, cray cray.  But you and your Fiance should have a shared understanding of what your boundaries are and how you want to be supported if someone is crossing them.  He needs to have your back more…cut the cord…tell mom to cut it out or she will be getting even fewer visits.  I agree with pp that you should stay in the positive…be polite and such…but if she starts acting rudely then you and your Fiance need to take some distance and figure out together how to handle situations. She is also doing a thing called triangulating…meaning she has a problem with you and goes to Fiance about it (creating a triangle) or maybe she has a problem with the ex wife and take it out on you (triangle) etc etc.  Best way to handle triangulators is to have a solid front.   IMO.

 

Post # 16
Member
3092 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I also thought this was going to be a post about flip-flops (the shoes) 🙂

The topic ‘FMIL, her flip flops are driving me crazy!!! Sorry Long Vent!!’ is closed to new replies.

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