(Closed) FMIL insists on meeting FH alone….

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: Should I go to the dinner?

    Yes

    No

  • Post # 92
    Member
    1772 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    View original reply
    @Redholix:  ppl can only do to you emotionally what you let them.  like a PP said, your Fiance is learning to have distance when he needs it to self-preserve.  just like you’d prefer to not be there talking to his mom, he doesn’t want to talk to her sometimes either.  and neither of you have to.  talking to someone and spending time with them and energy on their issues is a choice.  you can’t change someone else’s personality or behavior, so it’s best not to try.  you can only control your own behavior and the role you allow others to play in your life.  if someone is harmful, you/FI will quickly or slowly minimize the role you allow them to play in your life.

    best of luck tonight.  and, like others have said, the two of you should just agree on what you cannot/won’t take and agree to leave at that point.  you two do not have to sit through anything that’s negative/destructive/harmful.  glad to hear you got through the fight- knew you would.  you’re both lucky to have each other- you seem like good ppl and you are both doing your best and learning/growing and supporting each other as you go.  

     

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