(Closed) FMIL inviting people without our consent, and we are paying.

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
7902 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

She is completely out of line. If you want to be firm about it and probably piss her off in the process, you should tell her you are hiring security who will have a list of guests and will not let in the uninvited guests so she had better tell them now that she messed up.

Post # 4
Member
1638 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@Paleblue:  I would call them and say your Mother-In-Law made a mistake and you’ve reached your limit for the wedding. If you don’t want them there, don’t have them. It was your Mother-In-Law who made the mistake, not you. She needs boundaries. I would tell your Mother-In-Law either she does it or you/FI will.

Post # 7
Member
1638 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@Paleblue:  If they do come, only those who RSVPed should be seated first. They can wait until everyone is served and then be seated. But really I would call them yourself and say you don’t have anymore room. Call your MIL’s bluff! She’ll show up!

Post # 8
Member
1638 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@Paleblue:  Do you have a bold brash friend who can call them for you asking as your wedding coordinator? Saying “Im sorry Mother-In-Law invited you but we are at capacity and I’m sorry but we have no more room”?

Post # 9
Member
69 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@LuvMySailor:  I like this idea…we all have ballsy friends willing to do these things (I’m one of them)

Post # 10
Member
778 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@Paleblue:  Has your Fiance spoken to her about this? She’s completely out of line and you have every right to be outraged.

If one of DH’s parents or my dad behaved in such a selfish way, it would severely and irrevocably damage my relationship with them. Like, “you’re not welcome in my home anymore” sort of damage. Realistically, there’s not much you can do. Even if she retracts the invitation, she treated you with a total lack of consideration and respect and can never undo that damage. In a few years, the extra guests will not honestly feel like such a big deal–but the way she behaved still will.

My only advice to you is to try to accept that this is who she is and that won’t change, and adjust your expectations of her and the degree of contact you have with her accordingly. I’m so very sorry that you have to deal with this.

Post # 12
Member
1691 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

@mandapants23:  agreed! I`d do it for my friends!

Post # 14
Member
999 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I know exactly how you feel. My Future Father-In-Law invited 4 people at the wedding we didn’t invite, the only bad thing is that we didn’t find out until day of, when they couldn’t find their seating card. Thankfully some guest didnt’ show so they were seated there. It was embarrassing.

Post # 15
Member
7902 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

@Paleblue:  Can you tell her she has to pay for the full cost of every person she invited without consent?

Post # 16
Member
3583 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Then you tell her she owes you a grand. And you need it by X date or they can’t come in. That is way too expensive a head to just fit someone in.

The topic ‘FMIL inviting people without our consent, and we are paying.’ is closed to new replies.

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