(Closed) FMIL is 2 Faced!

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
2657 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Wow, sorry to hear about this. Mine are very small compared to this

Post # 4
Member
5977 posts
Bee Keeper

To be honest? I would kill her with kindness right back. Or…you could mention while your fiance is around that you didn’t appreciate the things that she said to you while he wasn’t around. Make sure that your fiance is always around when you’re in a room with her, and don’t let him leave you alone in a room with her. 

If she tries something like this again, politely say to her that you appreciate her “constructive criticizm” about how you’re not good enough for her son, but he obvously thinks otherwise. And if she really had a problem with it, that she should talk to her son about it directly rather than laying into you while he’s not around. 

What a jerk!

Post # 5
Member
310 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Geezums! Major hugs to you! She seems like a big meany. I haven’t had any issues with my future mother in law (not yet anyway) so I have no advice to give you. But I do  hope that things get better, and that your FH stands up to his mother regarding his decision to marry you. 

Post # 6
Member
3691 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

I hope your FH cuts her off.

Post # 7
Member
550 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Sorry to hear! I am so glad he was comforting to you and wanted to take action right away. Maybe you should stay away from her until she can confess her true feelings to her son and you. Keep in mind you love him, and although it would be nice to be accepted you don’t have to please her in your life! Why must people be so nasty?!?

Post # 8
Member
573 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

….? Why is she being so mean? Has your Fiance tried talking to her about her comments? Yikes. *hugs*

Post # 9
Member
502 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I’m with @2PeasinaPod. Piss her the fuck off by rubbing in her face how happy you are, how much your Fiance loves you, and what a lovely wedding you’re going to have. Think of that JLO movie Monster in Law if you need a visual for what I’m describing, lol. 

Post # 10
Member
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

Your Fiance needs to have a talk with her. Just staring at her does nothing. He needs to tell her that what she said is disrespectful and you deserve an apology.

I would also stop going over there until she comes and apologizes. Its not your fault she’s acting this way, but you certainly do not have to put up with it

Post # 11
Member
46470 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I’d be tempted to either phone her and record the conversation or record the conversation the next time the two of us were alone.

I would let her know that i had the recording and that the next time she came after me in private, I would be sharing the recording with her husband and son.

Post # 12
Member
487 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

It doesn’t sounds like she has issues with you, it sounds like she has issues with letting go of him and would have this problem with any girl.  He’s 29 and she wants her son to move home and be her little baby.  Does she make you guys go over and eat with them every week?  That’s another example of her not wanting to let go.

Post # 13
Member
686 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

Ugh I’m so sorry she’s like this. I happen to have a kick-butt Mother-In-Law who I get along really well with because we went to college for the same thing and both have the same type of psycho mother.

However, my psycho mother is a lot like your mother-in-law. She’s all about appearances and will tell you how fantastic you are in a group of people, and then tear you down the second everyone leaves. This led to her giving a miserable drunken speech at our reception along the lines of:

“I love you FutureJessicaMcB sooooo much, but Mr. McB doesn’t do enough to support you and isn’t good enough for you and, blah, blah, blah, cry, cry, cry, insult my mother in law, excuse me I have to smoke.”

It was awful and she corned my Mother-In-Law after everyone had left for the night (including us) and cursed her up and down for telling her she was glad she came. So in short, I hear you and there’s no talking to crazy people. Either play her BS game (which if she’s as much like my mother as I think, will be telling her hwo right she is all the time) or cut her out of your life.

I sincerely wish my mother had not been at our wedding- it’s a humiliating memory and it’s on our wedding video. Don’t leave yourself with similar regrets!

Post # 14
Member
1697 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

wow. I am so sorry hun. I have a great Future Mother-In-Law but my Fiance is inheriting a two face Mother-In-Law just as you are. He was very offended that when he asked my parents for their blessing they hugged it out and gave their blessing then talked crap about him after he proposed. I assured him it si what it is. Pesonally. I avoid my parents at all costs, well my mom anyway. i talk to her every week and I keep our talks short or we fight because I havn’t let go of the fact she made my Fi feeel like poo. I make every effort to keep Fiance away from her (which is easy cause she lives across country) but I have made arrangements to have my sisters keep her away from Fiance to avoid anything from being said when they come into town. In short, what I am saying is I am very much “protecting” my Fiance from my mom. BUT I never had a great relationship with my mom. Sounds like your Fiance does have a really close realtionship with his mom.

While what she did was VERY inappropriate, do you think you could be brave enough to say to her what a great Fiance you are and ask her to tell you why she feels the way she does? what evidence does she have? etc. You couold present it in a way like ” I want to be the best for your son, what do you sugest I do?” I dunno, it’s just that she is gonna be your Mother-In-Law for a very long time. I say, feel your confidence and assert yourself. She is being a bully. Don’t let her think she can “get away” with treating you this way. Your Fiance should say something to her too but you should show her you are a strong woman.

Post # 15
Member
1561 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I don’t agree with the PPs that suggest playing games with your Future Mother-In-Law.  

I think the course of action is you both to be the bigger people and have an honest discussion with her.  Well, probably your Fiance should.  Confront her over her comments and why she was so disrespectful to you, and of course make sure she knows that he will NOT put up with it.

Post # 16
Member
1561 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Also, just wanted to ask WHY in the world your Future Mother-In-Law thinks your Fiance should move home if he has a home of his own?  

The topic ‘FMIL is 2 Faced!’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors