(Closed) FMIL is getting out of line yet again Very long sorry ladies!

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
2494 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Sounds like she is the ‘Zilla in this! Good for you for standing your ground and still being kind-hearted enough to continue to try to keep her involved. I think you are doing a great job with handling this situation.

Post # 4
5183 posts
Bee Keeper

She sounds like a sack of nuts

Post # 5
704 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

 Wow, I’m so sorry, she sounds like a monster. She’s probably used to being in control over the lives of her family, or at least her son, and isn’t too happy about giving the reigns to someone else for a change.

How has Fiance dealt with this so far? I definitely think this is a situation where he needs to stand by you and tell his mother that if she loves him, she needs to respect you as well.


Post # 7
5977 posts
Bee Keeper

Can I tell you that my BFF had the EXACT same issue with the invitations with her MIL? Her husband is also Indian, and very much controlled her son until my BFF came along and married him. She was having issues with the invitations and wanted to put “no boxed gifts” on them, and my BFF refused. So she went ahead and had invitations printed for his side of the family only. Luckily, her SIL let her know what her Mother-In-Law was doing so that her husband could put the kabosh on that! Good for you and your Fiance for standing up for yourselves!

Post # 8
556 posts
Busy bee

currently how much interaction do you have w/his side of the family?

after wedding how much will you see them???

what im thinking is they know she’s crazy so i wouldnt worry about it looking bad on you. i would just let go…………………….and let her do her own crazy. go ahead and let her spend her time making 100s of phone calls and gossip and act insane crazy! 

if youre a good person, theyll know the TRUTH!

DO EVERYTHING YOU WANT TO DO REGARDLESS OF HER, but dont try to manage her excessively. like do your registry and do YOU, BUT if she wants to tell ppl and make calls to give you cash, dont fight it. it’s a waste of YOUR PRECIOUS TIME.

it seems too stressful for you to try and manage it all. you have other things to worry about.

from today on

have your Fiance deal with her. kill her with kindness.



Post # 9
962 posts
Busy bee

I have a similar situation with Fi’s mom. FI’s mom thinks she can dictate the time, location, guest list, etc event though she is not paying. The best thing to do is to not mention the wedding, don’t include her in it. She is not paying and that is that. You have tried to be nice and include her, but she has taken advantage of your generousity.

Post # 10
3773 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 1999

This sounds like a cultural thing. Maybe talk to your Fiance or someone else in the family and find out the meaning behind it and go from there.If it is still something you can’t compromise with have Fiance talk to her. He needs to be a united front with you and stick up to her.

Post # 11
643 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2009

EEEk! It sounds like she had a lot of control over everything before you came into the picture, and now she feel threatened that you are the one making all of the decisions for you and your fiancee (which you should be making those decisions, along with your fiancee).

I think it’s time to get your fiancee involved. It’s his mom– and it’s also his wedding. She needs to stop making this about you, and step back and look at how some of this things come across in her SON’S wedding. Does she really want to offend people by asking for money? Or only sending out invites to some people? See if your fiancee will get involved so the two of you have a united front. 

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