(Closed) FMIL is going to be the DEATH of me!

posted 7 years ago in Family
Post # 4
8738 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

@Mrs.Pinkalicious: I would tell her that when you get her guest list you will only invite the first x number of people and all the rest will not get invites.

I’d also say (or have your FI/FFIL say) that on the wedding day you will have security checking EVERYONE’s names. If they are not on the list they are NOT allowed to be at the wedding or reception.

Hopefully the though of having her guests turned away by a bouncer will be too embarrassing for her and she’ll back off.


I’m really sorry about this!

Post # 5
8353 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2011

All I can say is wow!!!

I am so sorry you are having to go through this. From what you have stated, you and your Fiance have done all you can do to put things in perspective for her. I strongly suggest taking your mom up on her offer and having her take care of it. Maybe hearing things from someone closer to her own age will help her see the light.

Post # 6
52 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Oh My. I have never even HEARD of something this intense. Don’t back down, not for one second. It’s your wedding and it should be how you want it (And Fiance too, but he seems to be in agreement.) I definitely agree w the security guard, and maybe don’t tell her WHERE the wedding will be until she actually gets an invite, that way she will have less chance to “make her own invites”. (The fact that she even said that shows just how out of control she is.)

I agree, don’t let her pay anything, thank God your parents agree with that! This person is clearly UNREASONABLE. That means you can’t reason with them, so don’t even try. Just plan it your own way and TELL her how its going to be.

Good luck! Keep us updated!

Post # 7
2204 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011


It sounds like your Future Mother-In-Law could be besties with Future Mother-In-Law…they seem to have the same crazy ideas.

The silver lining is all of this is that your Fiance and Future Father-In-Law are on your side.

I wouldn’t tell her anything about your plans. Not where it is, what colors, dresses, nothing.

How does she not get that what she is doing is wrong??

Good luck!!


Post # 8
52 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

On second thought, elope! Or better yet, have a tiiiiiny destination wedding. I am kind of wishing I had decided to do the same, just for financial reasons! But ah well!

Save yourself the stress! I feel so bad for you!

I would pick a gorgeous place (beach, woods, mountains, whatever you prefer) and invite immediate family plus like 2 or 3 best friends each and that’s it. Imagine how gorgeous it would be!

Sorry, I’ll stop telling you what to do now. 🙂

Post # 9
1679 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

If you, Fiance, and Future Father-In-Law are all on the same page, she’ll have no choice but to fall in line eventually.  She sounds like one heck of an attention seeker, trying to generate all this commotion. 


The other day, someone posted a “I’m sorry, that’s just not possible” mantra in a thread about +1s.  Perhaps you all need to have a mantra with her so that she finally gets it?

Good luck, honey.  I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this!

The topic ‘FMIL is going to be the DEATH of me!’ is closed to new replies.

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