(Closed) FMIL is killin me

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
3265 posts
Sugar bee

@alyssaC:  she obviously sucks.

But you need to not give her a chance to give her opinion. don’t tell her about things that do not directly effect her. she has no need to know about you rehersal guest list at this point.

Good luck. 

Post # 5
Member
3572 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I’m sorry she’s being tough.  I wonder if her reaction was so over the top because it is actually the groom’s parents who are supposed to pay for the dinner traditionally, and she has feelings that she can’t do that.    

Post # 7
Member
2376 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@MrsTVLover:  I was thinking the same thing about the groom’s parents paying.  She may be expecting (and dreading) a large bill, or she may feel like you’re judging her for not paying. 

Now, this doesn’t make her right by any means!  But people say stupid things when dollar signs flash before their eyes.  It may be helpful for your fiance to talk to her privately and see where she stands.  She may be highly offended that you’ve gone and made a rehearsal list without consulting her if she’s expecting to pay for the dinner.  I can honestly say that I’d probably fly off the handle if I was anticipating paying for dinner for 10, and all of a sudden, I thought I’d have to pay for 50.

Post # 8
Member
3572 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@alyssaC:  I know she may not expect to be asked.  For instance, my mom wasn’t asked for anything because we knew she couldn’t afford to help.  But she felt sad and like a failure because she didn’t have the money to help us.  I think she is judging herself for not being able to help.

My advice to you is kill her with kindness.  

Post # 10
Member
124 posts
Blushing bee

@alyssaC:  All I can say is that I am sorry she is acting like this.  I will keep my fingers crossed for you that some of this will blow over by the wedding and you both can enjoy it together.

Post # 11
Member
2376 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@alyssaC:  She does sound pretty hateful either way.  But if the date of July, 2015 is right, she may be getting overwhelmed with wedding info overload!  If I’m reading that right, you have your entire rehearsal dinner group picked out 2 years in advance?

Post # 12
Member
3572 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@alyssaC:  You can say that again!  I wish I could take my own advice with my own Mother-In-Law.  I just try to limit contact and am careful what I talk about!  The good news is your Fiance sees her negativity, too.  Just be careful badmouthing her toooo much to him.. that can lead to new troubles!

Post # 14
Member
2188 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2024

Yikes she sounds like a freaking drama queen.

I think you are doing what you can at this point which is to just not discuss the wedding in front of her, have your Fiance tell her she’s out of line and when she asks about the wedding just say you aren’t currently doing anything with it, that way she has nothing to bitch about (although from what you said I’m sure she’ll find something to bitch about!).

 

The topic ‘FMIL is killin me’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors