- 6 years ago
- Wedding: February 2012
My Future Mother-In-Law has been less than supportive of my FH and my relationship. A huge problem we’ve had throughout our relationship, is that he “vents” to her when we’ve had arguments and she gives her advice (which has never been beneficial to our relationship/children/ reconciliation)… it’s ALWAYS advice that is in his sole benefit. We’ve had some really rocky times and made it through them. We are now ready to get married and NO ONE from his family has been very supportive at all! They’re worried about his material possessions and what could happen to him financially if our relationship was to end in divorce. They bring these concerns up to him A LOT!
We have decided to get married and have a VERY small ceremony. It was going to be just us and my daughter from a previous relationship and our daughter together. I knew if we were to get married without telling anyone, that feelings would be hurt and I also felt it would appear as if we were doing it so that they couldn’t “talk us out of it”.
Well, after telling his mother and my mother, they both said that they’d be hurt to not be able to be apart of this day… so we reluntlantly (me more reluctant than FH was) decided to invite them. But now, Future Mother-In-Law is pitching fits to FH every other day about how she can’t understand us not inviting our siblings. This “wedding” isn’t going to be the GRAND show FH sister’s wedding was (which is somewhat embarrassing to me… my parent’s don’t have any money to give us to help us out right now and FH’s uncle was just married in a similar fashion as ours will be and his “wedding” was the laughing stock of his family). I really don’t want ANYONE there but was willing to accomodate to not have his mother nor mine, miss something that meant a lot to them.
Today I got a text from Future Mother-In-Law asking us to come over tonight to speak with her together. She asked that we find a sitter for the kids so we can discuss some things… I really don’t know how to handle this. It’d be one thing if FH had said to me from the beginning that he wanted his brother and sister there. He told me he doesn’t really care… but then after the constant nagging from her, he’s said he “was thinking about it and would like them there”. When I told him AGAIN why I felt the way I did and how this entire thing has whirled into something neither of us said we wanted from the beginning, he said he didn’t even care but felt he couldn’t make everyone happy. I don’t see why we have to make ANYONE else happy about OUR special day! We’ve already changed the date to accomodate his father not being in town and now this.
How do I handle this? I fear he’s never going to have a backbone when it comes to her manipulation/guilt trips and I’ll always be putting my feelings/wants on the backburner when it comes to her.
Also, we do plan on having a more “traditional” wedding/reception sometime next year once we’re in a better financial situation… One that EVERYONE will be invited to.