(Closed) FMIL is Making it So Difficult

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
5657 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2012

My Future Mother-In-Law also invited people to one of my showers who are not invited to the wedding (Our shower was last weekend, just 3 weeks before our wedding and invitations have already been sent and RSVPs have been counted). I’m not inviting them last minute just because she invited them to the shower. I think that is a faux pas on her part, not mine.

Post # 4
750 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

@Zusie:  We are addressing some invites to couple-friends who do not live together and we are using both of their names on one invitation to go to one address. No “and guest,” plus it saves us on postage and the $4 invitations.

Jimmy (name) and Georgia (other name)

Jimmy’s Address

Jimmy’s Town, State, Zip

Inner envelope with both of their names too.


Post # 5
262 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

If you have disussed the guest list with her, it sounds like a power play on her part to get them invited and you shouldn’t cave in to her demands. However, if it was just an honest mistake and you could easily fit them in, I would try to invite them.

They are likely expecting an invite at this point, but I think that if you don’t invite the cousins, it will look poorly on your Future Mother-In-Law and not you.

Post # 6
1798 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

If she doesn’t give you the address, then just write the SO on her invitation. Even though he doesn’t live there, he will know he’s invited.

Post # 7
1577 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I would just put her SO’s name on her invite even though they don’t live together.  If she doesn’t give you the address, really what else can you do?  And I definitely would not add people to the guest list you’ve already discussed..

Post # 8
4046 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I agree with the first comment. It’s a faux pas on her part,not yours.

Is there anyway you can get the names/addresses anywhere else? Facebook, real estate records, etc? can you perhaps call these people and ask directly for their address?

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