Post # 1
Member
140 posts
Blushing bee
So since the beginning of our engagement, our wedding has had to be catered somewhat to my Future Mother-In-Law. We had to change the date, she was originally going to wear the same color dress as my Bridesmaid or Best Man, she wants us to do extra stuff for FH brother who passed 4-5 years ago. We had to have a shower in her hometown, which is fine, but it’s because we are getting married in my hometown. (the dates we wanted that she agreed upon were not avaliable in her town).
Her and her BF have been together 10+ years. Now all of a sudden in the 6 mo since we got engaged, she has also gotten engaged, then (as an April Fools joke) said they were going to get married during our rehersal dinner, now she is actually getting married mid-June. So now all I hear about is her wedding, and how excited she is and that FH will give her away (which is fine with me, but she hasn’t talked to him about yet, only me).
The bridezilla in me is waiting to jump out. I have offered to help and all, but it just seems like why now? Why is it so impotant to get married now? And I feel like since she is doing a small wedding with dinner and drinks to follow, that she is going to make a big deal about how she is now married at our wedding.
I don’t know what to do! I’m afraid if I let it fester, it’s going to get ugly, and if I let it go, it will get worse. I’m I being irrational?
Thanks Bees!
Post # 3
Member
1396 posts
Bumble bee
Ew. That seems like a direct dig at you š I don’t think you’re being irrational at all. Don’t let her hijack your wedding. Grit your teeth and smile through hers, and once it’s over, it’s over. Don’t let it overshadow yours!
Post # 4
Member
3457 posts
Sugar bee
Give her the benefit of the doubt…it’s possible she, like some other waiting bees, has been patiently waiting 10 years and this finally gave her bf the kick needed to get him moving. Just don’t let her have the mic at your rehearsal dinner or wedding. š
Post # 5
Member
140 posts
Blushing bee
I have been trying to be patient and giver her the benefit, but she has tried to change a lot of things that we have planned because she doesn’t like it. I hope that she has her wedding and let’s ours be. I know that she has been waiting, because she has asked him before and he said no. It just seems like it’s this big push now that we are getting married, and it really hurts my feelings that she is once again making everything about her. It’s my grandma all over again!
Post # 6
Member
1501 posts
Bumble bee
That would drive me nuts. But maybe now that she has her own wedding to focus on she won’t try and have her way so much with yours. One can hope!
Post # 7
Member
3457 posts
Sugar bee
Well, fortunately now you have a great reply to change requests, “FMIL, I’m excited to see how that looks at your wedding! At ours, we’ve decided to do Y.”
This is just my two cents, which is worth precisely what you pay for it, but…. If she’s asked before and been refused, it seems the timing of this engagement is definitely on the bf’s shoulder’s, not hers. It’s frustrating that it seems like she’s copying you/stealing your limelight, but as a waiting bee myself, I would hate to feel like I had to hold off on the timing of my relationship in order to please someone else (and I’ve only been dating 3 years! I can’t imagine 10.) At least the dates are separated by a few months.
Post # 8
Member
1551 posts
Bumble bee
I agree that the timing seems a bit odd. After ten years, why now, right before your wedding. And I can see that being especially annoying as she’s been a bit difficult during your wedding planning.
But is it possible that her Fiance asked her now because at your wedding he wants to be your FI’s stepfather and the MOG’s husband? Maybe he wants to be an official member of the family and no longer just “Mom’s boyfriend”?
Post # 9
Member
155 posts
Blushing bee
I WISH my Future Mother-In-Law would get married sp she can stop trying to treat her son(my FH)like her husband.