(Closed) FMIL is wearing a dress that is nicer than my BM’s!

posted 9 years ago in Family
Post # 32
Member
5495 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

Honestly? I think the dresses will look fine together. Chillax and pick your battles. This one isn;t too big a deal. = )

Post # 33
Member
9028 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Future Mother-In-Law is free to wear anything she wants.. as long as its not something extreme like a pair of dirty overalls.. I dont think you can tell her what to wear anymore than you can tell your guests what to wear. As long as she isnt wearing a white gown with a veil, i dont think anyone will pay any attention to her anyway

Post # 34
Member
2271 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

I have seen many of a MOB pr MOG dress that was fancier than the BMs dresses. Never thought anything of it. Really, it’s nothing to worry about!

Post # 35
Member
63 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2006

My Mother-In-Law wore a custom-made gown designed and tailored in New York City that easily cost three times as much as my bridal gown.  Now, it wasn’t the same color or fabric as the bridesmaids, but it was GORGEOUS and she looked stunning.

And I was happy that she was so thrilled with her dress!  No one noticed that my mom was in a less formal dress or that Future Mother-In-Law was fancier than the bridesmaids.  Everyone just had fun!

I promise it won’t be bad.

Post # 36
Member
45 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Sooo not Bridezilla.  That’s sort of ridiculous, it’s not her job to match at all!  And the birthday thing? Uh, no, sorry, if she’s being that picky try to have a tiny cake the night before?  I’d def be annoyed though!

Post # 38
Member
162 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I wouldn’t say you’re being a bridezilla but if it were me, I’d just let her wear whatever she wants.  She’s the one who will look like an idiot if she’s way overdressed compared to the rest of the guests and wedding party. 

Post # 39
Member
2116 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I wouldn’t worry about fanciness compared to BM’s, but the mother of the groom traditionally takes a hint from the mother of the bride when it comes to dress

Post # 40
Member
4411 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2010 - Savannah, GA

I don’t think I’ve ever seen pictures with the bride’s parents and groom’s parents taken with the BMs. 

If you’re worried about your mom’s dress not looking as nice as your FMIL’s dress, you could buy your mom some sensational jewelry to wear that would give her dress some umph.

Post # 41
Member
1270 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

you gotta pick your battles. this is one that i would not choose to fight.

that dress looks great on your Future Mother-In-Law. if she wants to wear it, let her.

it’s your day, and all eyes will be on you and your husband regardless of what your Future Mother-In-Law wears. ’nuff said.

Post # 42
Member
387 posts
Helper bee

hey, at least she’s interested in dressing up!  My Future Mother-In-Law is very self concious, with VERY low self esteem, and wears cotton t-shirts and pants on a daily basis, so it’s going to be pulling teeth to get her into ANYTHING remotely special, and we are having a pretty formal wedding (i.e. night wedding, church, etc.– no black tie or anything like that, but still a nice dress like your FMIL’s is appropriate).  She doesn’t like attention, and I want her to look and feel special, so it’s going to be a process.

I say, as long as your mom and Fiance is ok with it, then just let it go.  I mean, as long as she feels happy, then it should be fine.  You don’t want to cause a fight, and as long as she’s not dictating anything else, you’re good.  It sounds like this is just the tip of iceberg for you with everything that’s been happening, and you’re going to take your frustrations with her out on her dress.  Don’t do that!  In the long run, it’s not worth it!

As for the birthday thing, I HOPE she was kidding!  If not, I’d have my Fiance tell her that it’s not appropriate for the wedding, celebrating the union of two madly in love people, as well as the joining of two amazing families, to have anything to do with her birthday.  Oh, and then surprise her with a cake at the rehearsal dinner and sing to her then!  That’ll shut her up and make her happy!  🙂

Post # 43
Member
2203 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

View original reply
@kfricke89:You’re completely in your right to have freak-outs 🙂

We’ve all obsessed over something….right ladies? YES WE HAVE.

Don’t worry, you’re not a bridezilla. It sounds like your Future Mother-In-Law has pushed your buttons and this last bit really hit hard. I have Future Mother-In-Law that sounds similar to yours- the attention-needy comments, center-of-attention moments- sometimes you gotta vent it out!

Post # 45
Member
290 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I love your bridesmaid dress!! What is that, designer and model?

Post # 46
Member
1077 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

View original reply
@kfricke89:  I’m glad you’re feeling better.  Don’t sweat the rant.  Lots of us are boiling inside with anxieties and expectations right now.  Vent here, and be the definition of calm w/ your Future Mother-In-Law.  😉

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