(Closed) FMIL Issues

posted 4 years ago in Family
Post # 2
Member
466 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2008

Nothing. You say nothing. You completely ignore her and don’t add to her fuel. Let her Fiance deal with her. He can tell her something like “if you are going to behave like this, might as well not attent our wedding. We only want people who support us as a couple, wit us”. By all means, feel free to cut her from your lives and let Fiance visit her alone (if he wants). I don’t know how you can still be trying to build a relationship with her (showing her the venue) when she treats you so bad.

Post # 3
Member
1671 posts
Bumble bee

Don’t even try with this woman. Be grateful that she mentioned she doesn’t want to come to your wedding, hopefully she doesn’t show up. She sounds like a terrible person and not someone you want in your life. Just treat her like a distant relative, you offered an invite, but won’t be totally bummed whether she comes or not. Let your Fiance deal with her if necessary.

Post # 4
Member
6945 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

Honestly at this point, if she doesn’t want to come I’d be doing a happy dance. 

Post # 7
Member
5466 posts
Bee Keeper

View original reply
soon2behb :  I think you’re good, you’ve tried. She seems awful and toxic. While it’s sad she’s not happy for her son, it’s worse to subject yourselves to years of misery at her hands. I would stop taking to her at this point and let Fiance deal with her including cutting het out. Plus you or him can say we’ve decided on the guest list, it doesn’t include that girl. It’s up to her to decide to come or not. It might actually be better if she didn’t. 

Post # 8
Member
6945 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

View original reply
soon2behb :  I get that. It’s hard seeing someone we love get hurt. But you said yourself that Fiance knows what she’s like and they’ve always had a strained relationship. He knows that if she decides not to come it’s not for your lack of trying. It’s because she’s terrible.

Post # 9
Member
421 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

Stop trying.  You trying to reason and rationalize with her is not working, she is not a reasonable and rational person.  I feel your pain because I’ve got a Future Mother-In-Law from hell also.  Hang in there.

Post # 10
Member
2633 posts
Sugar bee

Honestly it sounds like she has a personality disorder and it’s unlikely she will change (not just because she has a personality disorder, but because if she does she shows no signs of wanting to correct her behaviour towards other people). I would keep your relationship with her as minimal and cordial as possible, but trying to have a normal relationship with her will drive you all mad and miserable. 

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