(Closed) FMIL issues!

posted 7 years ago in Family
Post # 3
1317 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

You’re handling this all on your own and you shouldn’t be. It’s your FI’s family so he should have to deal with it as well. My suggestion is to step back. Tell him how aweful you’ll feel if gmom doesn’t get invited and how old she is and won’t be on this earth for much longer – lay it on thick!

Then tell him that if he agrees with his Mom, then he has to break the news to gmom! Because you’re against breaking the poor, old lady’s heart!

If he feels even slightly bad, then it should motivate him to have a talk with him mother — and that he has to do on his own for now. If and when she upsets him, that’s when you step in and kindly remind her just whos wedding it is! Remind her of future grandchildren you’d want her to be a part of as a last line of defense! I know it’s playing tough but your Future Mother-In-Law isn’t at all playing fair so you need to bring in the big guns!

Get your Fiance involved first. He has to start it, not you!

Post # 5
2651 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

My fia mom and g mom do not speak. And as such if does not have mua relay relationship wi his grandParents…. I’m not sure they even know we are engaged…. Ibrought it it up one day bc I was concerned about invites.i got an entire spheal about why and how things came to pass.  I personall. Told my f mil that I would like to extend the invite if Olny as a courtesy and if they decide to showI I promised that I wouldn’t make her sit with her mom.  I would explain that you are inviting her tO the ceremony Olny  and tell her it’s 45 Miniutstrust she will be uncomfortable for…. She carried her son for 9 months 45 mins won’t kill her

Post # 6
468 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I agree that your Fiance should tell the grandmother if he chooses to not invite her.. This is too much to put on your shoulders. I would think they should be able to hold it together for one little ceremony. It also isn’t right that his mom is putting you in this position… weddings are stressful enough!

Good Luck! It will work out!

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