- 3 years ago
- Wedding: December 2014
Okay, so we’ve been fortunate enough to have family & friends offer to help with some of the smaller wedding costs (bridal bouquet, etc.) but FI and I are mostly footing the bill ourselves. My parents are not capable to help financially and while his parents are living comfortably, we never expected them to take on some of the costs.
I tried to include FMIL in the planning process but being in two different states has made it incredibly difficult. Well a couple weeks ago, FMIL spoke to FI and mentioned that they (FI’s parents) had been talking about possibly paying for our photography. I thought wow! This is great, and would be so helpful considering how expensive we were finding it to be.
I spoke to her on the phone a week later and she mentioned the same to me. I told her that that was very sweet of them but they didn’t have to do that. She replied with “I know”
Fast forward a week or so later and I managed to find a photographer that I LOVED and who was well within our budget. I contacted him and setup an appointment, FI mentioned this to his mother and her response was “Well your father and I were talking and we figured we’re already going to spend around 6-7k just to attend the wedding so….” (FI has 3 younger brothers, They’re in MO wedding & me is in CA)
This upset me so much, first of all we never (and still haven’t) asked them for help with anything and the idea of paying for pictures was HERS in the first place.
I guess it hurt more than anything, it’s not even about the money but I don’t know, the way she said it made it seem like it’s going to be trouble for them to just show up. Also a friend of my mother has offered to cater our reception AT NO COST AT ALL and it makes me think that, wow this woman (who I have never met in person btw) is more than happy to help us yet my FI’s own parents don’t really want to.
It might be just on my side, but I do feel like it may have strained my relationship w/ FMIL a little, she (and the rest of his family) have been nothing but loving and supporting of us.
Am I being irrational with my feelings here? How would you deal with the situation?