(Closed) FMIL just diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder….

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: Would you let a family member with Bipolar be alone with your toddler?
    Of course, you cant trust anyone else but family : (21 votes)
    70 %
    Hell no, what if she goes through a manic episode : (9 votes)
    30 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    4382 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: June 2010 - Ceremony - First United Methodist Church; Reception - My parents' house!

    Was she diagnosed with Bipolar I or II? I’m Bipolar II, and if you want to PM me to talk about it, I’d be more than happy to.

    It’s not like you see on TV, I swear. There are so many different ranges and varieties of it.

    Bipolar I is more typically the stuff they show on tv shows– people throwing shit, psychotic episodes, all of that. Bipolar II is more periods of depression/mania. (Mania is not necessarily like they show in the ads/on tv either. Mine would just be a lack of sleep, irresponsible choices, and overspending. Nobody would have noticed).

     

    Post # 4
    Member
    194 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    If she is well then she should be fine with your daughter. Having BPAD doesn’t mean that you automatically become a danger to herself or others. Bipolar disorder means that you have phases of being high in mood and low in mood. It can be managed well with meds. Hopefully, now she has a correct diagnosis she can get herself the right treatment and be well to enjoy your wedding and look after your daughter.

     

     

     

    Post # 6
    Member
    2280 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    She should be fine, but you should probably have someone checking in on them anyway.

    As to whether or not you can tell…nope! My dad has it and his mother refuses to believe there’s anything wrong, even though he’s attempted to commit suicide, spent time in SP, and stuff like that. It’s because, for the most part, life is normal and it’s manageable. What would worry me is if she were starting to take medication for it around the time she’d be babysitting.

    Post # 7
    Member
    4382 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: June 2010 - Ceremony - First United Methodist Church; Reception - My parents' house!

    Bipolar I isn’t a stage, it’s a type. It’s not a progressive thing, just different varieties.

    Post # 8
    Member
    3564 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    I agree with Scissors, there is a WIDE range of behavior that falls into the category of Bipolar (although Bipolar I doesn’t necessarily mean that she’s more impaired or more dangerous). 

    Mental illness doesn’t mean that she’s going to suddenly become “crazy” or become a danger to herself/others. She may begin taking medication, which might make her sleepy or have other side effects, and may affect her ability to drive, ,for example. But it doesn’t make her any less fitting a babysitter for your daughter. It’s definitely understandable that you’re nervous; I would seek out all the information you can find, and see if there are any support groups in your area for friends/family of people with mental illness.

    Post # 9
    Member
    681 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: March 2018

    Usually it is a mood thing that doesn’t make sense unless you spend A LOT of time with someone. It’s sometimes hard to recognize the big swings from highs and lows if you only see the person occasionally or in situations that don’t have a “trigger” for a mood change. I really wouldn’t be concerned about your daughter unless for Future Mother-In-Law has a history of being violent. Talk to your Fiance about how she reacts—he probably can describe things from growing up that will give you a pretty good look at the effect it has on her.

    Post # 10
    Member
    2859 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2011 - Bartram's Garden

    If she’s taking medication on a regular basis, she’s most likely going to be fine. And scissors is right, bipolar isn’t like they make it out to be in the movies.

    Post # 11
    Member
    2289 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: November 2010

    Unless you were concerned with her being alone with your toddler BEFORE her diagnosis, I don’t think you have much to worry about after. Does she have a history of violence?

     

    Post # 12
    Member
    2634 posts
    Sugar bee

    My sister has been diagnosed with having Bipolar disorder and raised three children, so I voted yes.  She loves her grandbaby right?  If you are this concerned maybe you should talk with her doctor about it.  While he can’t give you any specifics about her condition, maybe he can make a recommendation as to whether or not he thinks this is a good idea.

    Post # 13
    Member
    2004 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: November 2008

    Oh, this sounds like it is really scary for you. Please don’t panic! There is a huge range of variation in the individual symptoms that people have with both types. You cannot say ‘yay’ or ‘nay’ just on the basis of the diagnosis.

    Your Future Mother-In-Law just got diagnosed, but do you know if the behaviors leading to her diagnosis are anything new? Lots of people go years and years without being diagnosed because they are quite high functioning. I have a good friend with Bipolar disorder and I would absolutely trust her to babysit. A person with Bipolar experiences mood variations, but it’s not like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde—they won’t suddenly go on a rampage and hurt your child. Your Future Mother-In-Law is very likely exactly the same person with this diagnosis this week as she was last week before you knew about it. If you trusted her to babysit then, then you should still be able to trust her now. A diagnosis doesn’t change who she is; it just puts her in a better position to get therapy (whether drug or talk or both). I would base your decision on what you know of your Future Mother-In-Law and what your fiance knows of her, not on this diagnosis.

    Post # 15
    Member
    3564 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    Especially since your wedding isn’t til May; that’s plenty of time for her to take and adjust to medication, if she is given meds. I think she would be perfectly fine to babysit, unless, as lampshade said, she has a history of violence or acting in appropriately.

    Post # 16
    Member
    8353 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: March 2011

    She will probably be okay watching your daughter, but I am not a doctor. I think that you should have a talk with your Fiance, just to voice your concerns. Ask him if he thinks he should talk to her doctor, to make sure that everything will be okay. Since he is her son, he should be able to get some information, even if he has to ask the doctor “Hypothetically speaking…”

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