(Closed) FMIL just invited herself BM dress shopping tmrw..

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
1455 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

Is your mom coming? I know I would NOT want my Future Mother-In-Law there if my mom wasn’t there. Maybe then ask her not to come since your mom would feel hurt?

I’m shocked my Future Mother-In-Law didn’t do this (she’s craaaaaaaaaaazy) but then again I didn’t tell her I was going shopping.

Post # 4
Member
3162 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Do you get along with your FMIL?

Edit: I just saw that you said you do – I think it’s fine. You may be better off, too, cause she’ll deal with your Future Sister-In-Law. Just make sure your friends that are there keep them two in check and go out of their way to focus on the actual dress shopping cause then Future Mother-In-Law and Future Sister-In-Law will feel stupid not paying attention to you. You’re running the show, not them.

Post # 5
Member
6572 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2010

if you want it to be just your girls, i don’t think it would be rude to just explain that to her. however, in this situation it might be good to have her there. like you said, you don’t want to have to be waiting and nagging your fsil to pay for the dress and worry about it down the road. it could just save a lot of hassle.

Post # 6
Member
5977 posts
Bee Keeper

It might be a blessing in disguise? Then maybe your Future Sister-In-Law won’t put off paying for the dress and you won’t be stuck fronting the money for it? I think it’s rude to invite yourself anywhere too, but it might turn into something good for you if you put a positive spin on it…

Post # 7
Member
4567 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

… my Future Mother-In-Law doesn’t want to be involved in the slightest. Seriously. She doesn’t like weddings and I think it really annoys her that we’re going to do a beautiful, expensive one. And that kinda hurts, cause it’s not like she’s paying for it at all!

Post # 8
Member
2015 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

This is one of those “pick your battles” situations, and it sounds like it would be easier to just sit this one out and let her come. It really pushes my buttons when people invite themselves on outings as well, but if you get along with your Future Mother-In-Law, and she’s paying for one of the dresses, it doesn’t seem all that bad.

If she starts to get annoying with suggestions on dresses you hate, just stand your ground and say “this dress more closely matches my vision.”

Post # 9
Member
1526 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I can see your annoyance in the fact she invited herself. Look at the bright side, Future Sister-In-Law will get her dress paid for and ordered and if she is irresponsible like you say its one less thing to worry about. She is kind of doing both you and the Future Sister-In-Law a favor because I would rather be annoyed that she invited herself rather than be stressed that one of my Bridesmaid or Best Man hadn’t paid for or ordered her dress in time for the wedding. Sorry that she did that but its not necessarily such a bad thing.

I think I am a little out of the norm because my mom and I dont have a good relationship and I love my Future Mother-In-Law. I am more likely to involve my Future Mother-In-Law with wedding stuff than my mom, but Future Mother-In-Law lives in California so we never get to see her or anything like that.

Post # 10
Member
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

I personally would be thrilled if my Future Mother-In-Law invited herself Bridesmaid or Best Man dress shopping, but she lives in MI and I live in NYC so I only see her like twice a year. The only appropriate response to her is to say “I’m so glad you can join us dress shopping! I didn’t think to ask you before as I had planned a special bonding dinner wtih my BM’s afterwards. Very glad you will be able to share our dress shopping experience!” That way she knows dinner is off limits, you know?

Post # 11
Member
2781 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I think it’s fine. I think she just wants to keep an eye on (what sounds like) slightly flakey Future Sister-In-Law. Although I do agree that it’s weird that she invited herself along. I’d just suck it up. Maybe invite your mom to come with you dress shopping as well so she has someone to talk to and then take your girlfriends out for dinner and bridesmaid time. And I also agree that it’s annoying to find out the way that you did but seriously? I would kill for my Future Mother-In-Law to show ANY interest in our wedding.

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