Post # 1
And I love her, and I think she’s great, but I really wanted to spend the time with my friends. I think she may only be coming b/c she is paying for FSIL’s dress. If she does not come, then I know Future Sister-In-Law won’t be able to pay for it tomorrow, and then she’ll probably put it off. They will fight the whole time b/c Future Mother-In-Law will tell Future Sister-In-Law that she needs straps on her dress to cover her (poorly done) chest tattoo. Ughhh.
Maybe it’s not so bad just b/c Future Sister-In-Law is sort of irresponsible, and if Future Mother-In-Law is gonna pay for the dress tomorrow then she won’t be behind, which is what I was expecting. Maybe Future Mother-In-Law will also look for her dress too, which would be ok I guess.
I’m annoyed b/c I got a text from Future Sister-In-Law ‘I think my mom is coming tomorrow’ and I think it’s weird to invite yourself anywhere. I’m taking the girls out to dinner after shopping, and I don’t think she is gonna come to dinner, just to look at dresses.
Post # 3
Is your mom coming? I know I would NOT want my Future Mother-In-Law there if my mom wasn’t there. Maybe then ask her not to come since your mom would feel hurt?
I’m shocked my Future Mother-In-Law didn’t do this (she’s craaaaaaaaaaazy) but then again I didn’t tell her I was going shopping.
Post # 4
Do you get along with your FMIL?
Edit: I just saw that you said you do – I think it’s fine. You may be better off, too, cause she’ll deal with your Future Sister-In-Law. Just make sure your friends that are there keep them two in check and go out of their way to focus on the actual dress shopping cause then Future Mother-In-Law and Future Sister-In-Law will feel stupid not paying attention to you. You’re running the show, not them.
Post # 5
if you want it to be just your girls, i don’t think it would be rude to just explain that to her. however, in this situation it might be good to have her there. like you said, you don’t want to have to be waiting and nagging your fsil to pay for the dress and worry about it down the road. it could just save a lot of hassle.
Post # 6
It might be a blessing in disguise? Then maybe your Future Sister-In-Law won’t put off paying for the dress and you won’t be stuck fronting the money for it? I think it’s rude to invite yourself anywhere too, but it might turn into something good for you if you put a positive spin on it…
Post # 7
… my Future Mother-In-Law doesn’t want to be involved in the slightest. Seriously. She doesn’t like weddings and I think it really annoys her that we’re going to do a beautiful, expensive one. And that kinda hurts, cause it’s not like she’s paying for it at all!
Post # 8
This is one of those “pick your battles” situations, and it sounds like it would be easier to just sit this one out and let her come. It really pushes my buttons when people invite themselves on outings as well, but if you get along with your Future Mother-In-Law, and she’s paying for one of the dresses, it doesn’t seem all that bad.
If she starts to get annoying with suggestions on dresses you hate, just stand your ground and say “this dress more closely matches my vision.”
Post # 9
I can see your annoyance in the fact she invited herself. Look at the bright side, Future Sister-In-Law will get her dress paid for and ordered and if she is irresponsible like you say its one less thing to worry about. She is kind of doing both you and the Future Sister-In-Law a favor because I would rather be annoyed that she invited herself rather than be stressed that one of my Bridesmaid or Best Man hadn’t paid for or ordered her dress in time for the wedding. Sorry that she did that but its not necessarily such a bad thing.
I think I am a little out of the norm because my mom and I dont have a good relationship and I love my Future Mother-In-Law. I am more likely to involve my Future Mother-In-Law with wedding stuff than my mom, but Future Mother-In-Law lives in California so we never get to see her or anything like that.
Post # 10
I personally would be thrilled if my Future Mother-In-Law invited herself Bridesmaid or Best Man dress shopping, but she lives in MI and I live in NYC so I only see her like twice a year. The only appropriate response to her is to say “I’m so glad you can join us dress shopping! I didn’t think to ask you before as I had planned a special bonding dinner wtih my BM’s afterwards. Very glad you will be able to share our dress shopping experience!” That way she knows dinner is off limits, you know?
Post # 11
I think it’s fine. I think she just wants to keep an eye on (what sounds like) slightly flakey Future Sister-In-Law. Although I do agree that it’s weird that she invited herself along. I’d just suck it up. Maybe invite your mom to come with you dress shopping as well so she has someone to talk to and then take your girlfriends out for dinner and bridesmaid time. And I also agree that it’s annoying to find out the way that you did but seriously? I would kill for my Future Mother-In-Law to show ANY interest in our wedding.