Post # 1
So my Future In Laws come over for an afternoon visit, which overall was nice. Then, right before they go to leave, my Future Mother-In-Law says, “So what song are Mr. Skydiver and I dancing to for the mom/son dance?” (First of all, my lovely husband to be told me his mother would not want to do this so we don’t have it even included. But it would be easy to add in, I don’t have an issue with that…)
Then she says, “Well, whats the order of the first songs of the reception – you dance with your dad while I dance with Mr. Skydiver. And then you dance with your new father in law and then I dance with your dad while my husband dances with your mother and then all the guests get to dance the fourth or fifth dance in, right?”
Um, I guess this was my moment to say what everyone keeps saying to me – “I’ve never seen that done before…”
Is this some tradition that I have missed? All I’ve ever seen is I dance with my dad, the mom dances with the son and then the crowd gets to dance. Help?
P.S. She also told me she has picked out which song she would like to be escorted down the aisle to…
Post # 3
Don’t make people watch that many dances. You with your hubby, you with your dad, him with his mom and then be done. So that is already a while to wait. I think at that point they get excessive.
Post # 4
@chasesgirl: Agree. Even the “traditions” are too long at times. What the Future Mother-In-Law is suggesting is ‘beat-head-on-table’ over kill.
Post # 5
Please do not do the long series of special dances. It is such a drag to sit through those as a guest. This is one of those “traditions” that has just built up more recently, and while she may prefer it, this is not her wedding. Just tell her you’re doing your guests the favor of no more than two special dances. And that you pick the music for your wedding, thx.
Post # 6
A way to compromise this is shorten the father daughter and mother son dances to 1/2 a song and play a third dance where everyone dances like she wants and 1/3 of the way in every joins in.
Post # 7
I’ve never seen this done either, and I would imagine that if it was done, it would be very long, drawn-out and boring for the guests.
Just stick to what you and your future husband want to do. If she keeps insisting, just tell her that you don’t want to make your guests wait so long for food or to dance themselves. Or tell her that your DJ/wedding coordinator/other vendors said it’s not a good idea because it cuts into time where you could be doing other valuable, memorable things.
Or you could have a giant “group” dance where you all dance together or switch partners a few times during one single song. That way it’s not drawn out but everyone gets to dance with one another.
Post # 8
I never heard that the groom/mother dance is same time as father/bride. I think father/bride starts, then maybe groom/mother join them, then entire family.
Post # 10
Thanks everyone for your input. She has really stayed out of any planning whatsoever so I was caught off guard. I don’t want to offend her, but this sudden “interest” in planning out moments of the day is a little much so late in the game.
I’ve decided that to appease her, I’m going to include the song she likes so much as part of our pre-ceremony music. Its an okay song, but a little 80s power ballad and not really our style for processional songs (we are doing up-tempo modern songs for the seating of mothers/grandmothers, arrival of groom, best man, and the bridesmaids processional)
I’ve also decided that I really want my dance with my father to be special and set apart. My father and I are much closer than he and his mother are and this dance means a lot to me. So I’m going to stick with the daddy/daughter dance in the unique way that we have planned and then tell her that we are going to have their mother/son dance at the first break when the d.j. transitions to a slower dance. And I’m going to give her a list of five songs to choose from for that dance so we don’t end up with the power ballad rearing its head again.
So, using her song, letting her have mother/son dance but setting it apart from the start of the wedding reception so guests don’t have to sit there and watch dance after dance after dance… Does that sound like a fair compromise?