(Closed) FMIL just threw me for a loop regarding supposed dancing tradition…

posted 6 years ago in Traditions
Post # 3
5547 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2011

Don’t make people watch that many dances. You with your hubby, you with your dad, him with his mom and then be done. So that is already a while to wait. I think at that point they get excessive.

Post # 4
4327 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 1992

@chasesgirl:  Agree. Even the “traditions” are too long at times. What the Future Mother-In-Law is suggesting is ‘beat-head-on-table’ over kill.

Post # 5
2281 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Please do not do the long series of special dances. It is such a drag to sit through those as a guest. This is one of those “traditions” that has just built up more recently, and while she may prefer it, this is not her wedding. Just tell her you’re doing your guests the favor of no more than two special dances. And that you pick the music for your wedding, thx. 

Post # 6
2622 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

A way to compromise this is shorten the father daughter and mother son dances to 1/2 a song and play a third dance where everyone dances like she wants and 1/3 of the way in every joins in.

Post # 7
1599 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I’ve never seen this done either, and I would imagine that if it was done, it would be very long, drawn-out and boring for the guests.

Just stick to what you and your future husband want to do. If she keeps insisting, just tell her that you don’t want to make your guests wait so long for food or to dance themselves. Or tell her that your DJ/wedding coordinator/other vendors said it’s not a good idea because it cuts into time where you could be doing other valuable, memorable things.

Or you could have a giant “group” dance where you all dance together or switch partners a few times during one single song. That way it’s not drawn out but everyone gets to dance with one another.

Good luck! 

Post # 8
11 posts

I never heard that the groom/mother dance is same time as father/bride.  I think father/bride starts, then maybe groom/mother join them, then entire family.

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