Post # 16
betterbuckley : Sorry, I think I should have been a little more clear in the 1st paragraph. When I mentioned no further commotion, I meant amongst the cousins themselves (for not being invited) and the rest of the family.
It sounds like your Future Mother-In-Law is the only one that continues to make this an issue. If she approaches you again, you can just remind her that it was her decision to have friends in lieu of the cousins. She’s obviously contradicting herself (which in itself can drive one nuts), but there is nothing you can do about shutting her up. You can only control how you respond to this woman.
I do feel for you, as you’re already stressed out enough as it is. Try not to worry about what she’s saying to whom (it doesn’t matter), and focus instead on making your special day as wonderful as possible.
Post # 17
quantumleap48 : You’re right — I honestly doubt that the cousins themselves were ever offended in the first place. They were invited to FSIL’s wedding, and only one came. I’m a little worried, though, that the aunts and uncles who come will have heard something from Future Mother-In-Law…and I don’t want to be wondering whether or not they’re offended when I see them (on my wedding day, no less). I don’t think they would say anything about it, so there’s no concern about that. Oh well…it is what it is.
Post # 18
My Future Mother-In-Law is a dream, but guests lists and different ideas about inclusiveness were difficult for even us! My Fiance made the decision not to invite some of his cousins (it completely makes sense given his family). I told him to talk to his mom about it, and he did and she gave the ok. She had a number of friends she could invite, and she certainly could have put the cousins on that list. Anyway, we were basically in the same situation. She made a couple of comments like “I can’t believe you didn’t invite so and so.” I just didn’t say anything. She knew they weren’t being invited and chose to invite others instead. From the stories I’ve seen on here, I just thank myself for a nice, normal Future Mother-In-Law and move on. She also made me feel badly for wanting a more intimate rehearsal dinner (she would have invited everyone), but I stuck to my guns and am glad I did.
Post # 19
Scream when you are home alone lol. It helps.
My fmil does the same with backhanded finesse. I have cut down on how much I talk to her about the weddingg for my own sanity. She keeps trying to add random people to our guest list. I let Fiance handle it.
Post # 20
chicagobride618 : Yep! I always read other people’s horror stories and thank God! Making choices about the rehearsal dinner was another drawn-out eye roll…I suggested things that I knew were important to my FH (he wanted an outdoor wedding which we ended up not doing for fear of unbearable heat, so I said we could have the rehearsal dinner outside), and she basically took my suggestions and said, well, we could have it outside, but it seems like betterbuckley wouldn’t like that…what?? That’s exactly what I said we would like! But, decisions like where to hold the rehearsal dinner are really the least of my concerns, so whatever floats her boat!
Post # 21
“I’m just keeping my mouth shut.”
“That’s a plan.”