(Closed) FMIL keeps inviting people!!!

posted 12 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
564 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Maybe the both of you can talk to her and calmly explain to her that she can’t keep inviting people. and remind her that you’re working on a budget.

my mom tried to invite a few people to my wedding(before we changed the date) and i probably wasn’t the calmest person when i told her she can’t do that because she isn’t helping to pay for the wedding. and she didn’t do it again. I did though go back to apologize for blowing up at her and calming told her that we can not afford extra people.

Post # 4
274 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

First, are they paying for a portion of the wedding (beyond any rehearsal dinner expenses?). It’s “etiquette” then that she may be entitled to invite people (I put that word in quotes mostly because I’m coming to loath wedding etiquette – it seems most rules just give away control of your wedding day). 

If you & your Fiance don’t think she has any right to invite people, definitely have your Fiance talk to her about it. She’s probably just really excited about it & wants to have lots of people there to celebrate. I’ve become notorious these past few weeks for wanting to give out nostalgic<span style=”font-size: 11pt; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";”> invites to people we never considered originally, but have seen/talked to recently. Anyway, hopefully she’ll understand that you’re on a budget & only want people there that are important to you as a couple. And have her call that family to explain that she didn’t know about venue restraints & spoke out of turn.

You’re not over-reacting either. The guest list has been the single most stressful part of my wedding planning and neither set of parents have insisted we invite people. Just take deep breaths, stand firm with inviting only those you really want there, and be happy that so many people love you guys & want to be there on your wedding day (at least that’s what I keep telling myselfLaughing)

Post # 6
152 posts
Blushing bee

Talk to her with your Fiance. My Fiance and I had to talk to his mom, and tell her we had to cut down the guest list. We told her she could blame it on us, but our immediate families, grandparents, and brothers/sisters of our parents added up to 138 people already. We could not have another 40 people added on from families she knows.

Good luck! The guest list is hard. Just make a decision and stick to it!

Post # 7
341 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

I would say talk to her with your Fiance or have him talk to her. you dont’ want to start your new married life on the wrong foot with your Mother-In-Law.

my problem is getting Fiance to stop inviting people. If he is talking to someone he will mention we’re getting married and then turns to me and says, “Did we send them a save-the-date?” totally putting me on the spot. Um, no, why would we send them a save-the-date when we only see them once a year?

Agreed, guest list is hard. Good luck!

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