(Closed) FMIL + Lingerie Shower – Social Skills = OMG

posted 11 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
1220 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

As for the men part.  Be honest.  Tell her what the shower is, tell her that your dad is not coming.  Tell her that it’s ladies only.  Be honest yet blunt.  Leave no room for interpretation.


Have your mom’s met before?  Do you have a aunt that would be able to take her to lunch/show her around.  MOH’s usually deal with coordinating difficult parents.  I hate to say it, but pawn her off on someone so it’s not always you picking her up etc.  Other people are more than capable of doing that.  Just make sure she knows who’s getting her and she has a cell number or something.

Post # 4
1580 posts
Bumble bee

Just tell her men aren’t allowed at the shower.

What do you mean by ‘giving away your thunder’? I would just give her a task to help greet all the guests or help with the presents so she can be involved that way. It just sounds like she wants to be included.

Post # 5
14181 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Wow that sucks. If she’s going to complain, she shouldn’t freakin’ come! Nothing says awkward like opening up sexy things in front of your FI’s mom =]

Tell her men aren’t allowed at the showers. I mean, helloooo. And tell her that your family is looking forward to getting to know her better/spend time with her. Surely your family isn’t so rude as to leave her sitting there all by herself, I mean, really! The party’s not about her, so if she has to sit quietly and contently and watch, that sounds fine to me.

Post # 6
7172 posts
Busy Beekeeper

1.  To honor her:  what about giving your mom and her a little corsage or something – for the mother of the bride and groom.  That should make her feel special and stand out.

2.  re: men:  Tell her no men are invited to the shower(s).  It’s pretty normal and shouldn’t surprise her

3.  re: sister:  Tell your sister (ahead of time) that your Future Mother-In-Law will be attending and it will be helpful for your stress level to keep any negative comments to herself – you could also broaden that to anyone, including Future Mother-In-Law.  

It’s hard being the odd-ball out, going to a family party where you are the newbie.  She’s probably feeling self-conscious and intimidated, no matter how warm and accepting your family may be.  If you have a friendly, outgoing Bridesmaid or Best Man, I’d ask that friend to make sure Future Mother-In-Law is having a good time – kind of be her ‘buddy’ at the shower, so to speak.

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