FMIL looked at wedding bands for us…weird?

posted 3 years ago in Rings
Post # 31
2563 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

butterfly19882 :  If she’s looking at bands because she’s excited and felt like looking at jewelry, no it wouldn’t bother me.  If she were looking at bands with the thought that she would have some input to which ones that were purchased, that would bother me.

Post # 32
184 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

I’d think she likes jewelry, and rarely has a chance to shop for some, so that’s kind of the perfect excuse. I wouldn’t worry and just buy my bands and let her know.

Post # 33
2452 posts
Buzzing bee

I think it’s weird and potentially overbearing, especially since you specifically said since you got engaged, she’s expected to provide a lot of input.  And she was clearly focused on rings that were not your style or taste.

I’d treat cautiously. Sounds like she has very different taste and a very different vision than you do. Hopefully she won’t start buying you surprise-wedding stuff (rings, etc), but at the very least, she may get hurt feelings if you don’t take any of her suggestions (due to taste.)  

Post # 35
369 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

A little annoying I guess, but I agree with with PP it comes from a good place. Think about the positive thing, shes super excited her son has proposed to you and wants to marry you! Thats a wonderful thing. FMIL/MIL/MOG often get slighted. Son’s don’t tend to dream about their weddings etc with their mums from a young age. I have a 17 year old daughter and we sometimes fantasise about her wedding day etc. My son on the other hand talks to me about Marvel & DC. LOL This is an exciting time for her too. I’m sure you and your mum spend lots of time dreaming and planning already…. maybe think about ways you can include her a little or tell her it makes you happy that shes so excited about your upcoming nuptials to her son. Trust me from someone who knows, establishing a good and loving relationship with you Mother-In-Law is so important. Brides hate to admit it sometimes but our Mother-In-Law can intimidate us sometimes because they will always be a huge part of our SO lives. Kinda the other woman…. if you understand what I mean. Congratulations on your engagement and I hope you have a beautiful wedding, marriage and joining of both your families!

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